The real story behind the @DavidArchie Ice Cream lockout saga (not really)

You may have felt a shift in the archtastic vortex Friday night when this startling event took place:

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Our stealth investigative reporting team at SAz* uncovered the full story:

David: Gosh, I am craaaaaving ice cream right now, what do you have?

Bumblebee guy: Sorry sir, we don’t serve mustachioed hipsters.

David: Heh heh. *rips off cookie duster* This was just a joke for my fans. They keep wanting a hairier me. ha ha

Bumblebee guy: In that case we will serve you. But we are out of ice cream.

David: Out of ice cream??? Could you give me a moment…

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*David wipes his tears on his plaid handkerchief* Sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly… which is odd because I have Spock-like hearing and perfect pitch… could’ve sworn you said you had no ice cream.

Bumblebee guy: That is correct, sir. Perhaps if you loosened that top button it would improve your hearing.

David: I do not like your tone, dude. No ice cream? Seriously????

Bumblebee guy: Yes, when David Cook’s band was here they cleaned us out.
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Bumblebee guy: He did leave us this as a tip, though:
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David: What if I sang a few songs for you?… I got triple scoops after my Ethiopian gig… and hey, you just happen to have a piano right here…
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Bumblebee guy: Why, yes. That would be most pleasant. In that case, I can run home and pull out my private stock of Mango Surprise. And when you sing, we could take videos and post them on YouTube for your fans to enjoy.

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Bumblebee guy: But why not?

David: I’m waiting for the time to be right.

Bumblebee guy: You mean, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars?

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David: I’m sure you can understand that.

Bumblebee guy: No clue, sir.

Later that day….

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And they all lived rocky-roadily ever after.

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*Edward Snowden’s Utah cousin, Bubba.
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P.S.
Click pic (then click Instagram pic) for short vid shout-out!
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P.P.S. I love the 2-for-1 deal with D’s Instagrams/Tweets :D
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Posted in Utter nonsense | Tagged | 16 Comments

The wackety wack mood swings of a @DavidArchie fan updated

Ground zero… Announcement night.

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… But oh he’s not going right away!

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… He’s doing a soap in the Philippines??????

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… But it’s actually awesome!

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But then it’s over…

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SURPRISE! He’s recording an album over there!

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But but… what songs are these???

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Who cares… it’s DAVID SINGING!!!!

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Then poof he’s gone for two years

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He did leave us music!

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But then no more music.

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None.

tumblr_mx33lifhX51r9nlfxo4_250I miss that dufus.

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But now he’s back!!!!!!

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He’s really back!!!

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Really, really back!!!

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But he’s keeping his hair short….

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But writing songs!!!!

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And telling us off in vlogs….

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But hey, I guess this is David 2.0….

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Wait, he’s going away again?

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To the Middle East???

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But he’s gonna get to perform again!!!

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But we won’t get to see any of it…

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But Jason’s like having TMZ along for the Tour!!!

tumblr_inline_mtp68cmFeD1rnm470And there’s this….

"Really, though...."

And this….

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And this….


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But what does the future hold???

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Should we be worried???
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Maybe we’re too needy?

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Are we??
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Wait, actually….
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How much are you looking forward to new music?
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How are you guys holding up???

p.s.

burger

p.p.s.
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p.p.s.s.
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Posted in Utter nonsense | Tagged | 17 Comments

California beamin’

So apparently David went to California to stand in this one spot and get inundated for picture requests…

First there was this guy…

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Then this guy….

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Another bad influence. smh

Screen shot 2014-08-11 at 9.04.53 PMThen this person who does know the correct shorts/socks ratio…

Another bad influence. smh

Thank you, sir.

Then finally David just had enough…

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(jk, apparently he was kind enough to call the sister of one of these guys to say hello and write her this note… an #idle’s work is never done ;) )

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Postscript:

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You heard it here first, folks… he’s real bruhh….

P.P.S.S.

Breaking news: He also spent some time away from that one spot.

Confession: The first 3,348340 times I looked at this pic I did not notice the Hollywood Sign in the background. Hypnotized, so mesmerized.

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UPDATE:
Seriously DYINGGGGG here….

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Who else was reminded of this long-ago amazing tweetness…. ?
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Posted in Utter nonsense | Tagged | 17 Comments

Very important @DavidArchie poll (not really)

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(And yes, I did steal these gifs from the lovely and amazing @rhiminee, see rest HERE, mwahaha)

Posted in Utter nonsense | Tagged , , | 10 Comments

My random playlist

Well, not much going on right now David-wise so I thought I’d share music I’ve been listening to lately …

I’ve been spamming Twitter with this Swedish-sister duo called First-Aid Kit… I’ve heard their music described as “Fleetwood Mac meets Johnny Cash,” which is pretty accurate, lol … their harmonies are gorgeous and I love every single song on their album Stay Gold (haven’t felt that way for ages)… this is today’s favourite:

I came across this song randomly and I don’t know anything about the band but I love the lead singer’s voice and the melody of it:

And this song comes from a collective who wants to make a positive difference with their music (sound familiar? :) ) … I love the way they layer the sound as the song builds … warning, it’s addictive:

This is from an Irish band who sound like a throwback to another era (I swear I had NO idea how young they were until I’d already listened to the song about a million times, lol):

And I would KILL to hear David sing this someday:

So how about you guys?? What have you been listening to lately?

Posted in Fan experience | Tagged , | 11 Comments

Sad news from The Civil Wars….


This has not been a good week … now The Civil Wars have announced they’re permanently disbanding. I am so sad they couldn’t work things out. Really loved their unique songwriting, harmonies, the whole classy package.

I’m so grateful I got to see them live three separate times here in Toronto (once opening for Adele)… up top and down below are two videos I took the last time they were here … their harmonies sounded even better in person but maybe it jinxes things when you reference The Civil War in your band name, who knows?

This is the announcement they posted on their FB page (will definitely be downloading their last song… a lovely, bittersweet gesture):

The Civil Wars—made up of duo partners Joy Williams and John Paul White—have regretfully decided to permanently part ways. The difficult decision ends a tumultuous period for the four-time Grammy Award-winning band, who has been on indefinite hiatus since late 2012.

As a thank you gift and farewell, the band is offering a download of their rendition of “You Are My Sunshine.” Recorded in 2010, the track was originally released in 2011 as a b-side to the band’s limited edition Barton Hollow 7” vinyl. This is the first time the song has been available digitally in the U.S.

Both Joy and John Paul have added their personal words on disbanding here below.

Joy Williams comments, “I am saddened and disappointed by the ending of this duo, to say the very least. JP is a tremendous musician, and I will always be grateful for the music we were able to create together.

I sincerely hope that ‘You Are My Sunshine’ will be accepted as a token of my gratitude for every single person that has supported our duo throughout the years. I’m so thankful and my heart is full.

Looking ahead, I’m excited to share the music that I am writing and recording in the midst of this difficult transition. I’ve loved being back in the studio, and have missed performing live. I look forward to seeing you soon.”

John Paul adds, “I would like to express sincere thanks to all who were a part of the arc of The Civil Wars—from the beginning, to the end, and all points in between. My deep appreciation goes out to all who supported, disseminated, and enjoyed the music. Whatever shape or form the next chapter takes, thanks for being a large part of this one.”

Full statement and “You Are My Sunshine” download at http://thecivilwars.com/

Please follow JOY & John Paul White for individual updates.

I noticed some fans expressing anger in the FB comments… what do you guys think? Is that warranted? Does that always happen when groups break up?

p.s.

David getting glomped by the children’s choir… no doubt singing “Let me goooooo”

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Posted in Fan experience | Tagged , , | 14 Comments

For anyone who’s had a rough day….

… and in related news…

… plus, the stripes convention reconvenes…

Posted in Utter nonsense | Tagged | 4 Comments

Rest in peace, Michael Johns

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Read rest HERE.

Such sad, sad news. Michael was one of my favourites from S7, loved his soulful voice and sense of humour. Can hardly believe it.
Here’s the Let It Be he sang with Brooke, David and Benton Paul:

Loved his version of this Dolly Parton song during S7:

Deepest sympathies to his family and friends, including David.
May Michael rest in peace.

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Posted in Fan experience | Tagged | 11 Comments

@DavidArchie good fan/bad fan questionnaire revisited

shockedThings have been simultaneously crazy and deadsville in the fandom lately… you know, the usual, so I thought it was time to repost this questionnaire to see where we stan, um, stand.

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I’ve never liked the terms “good fan” and “bad fan” … in my mind, we’re all just plain “fans” who have good days and bad days.

But hey, those terms are out there, so why not have an actual questionnaire that will let us know which side we fall on. Completely scientifically accurate, of course. :)

Calculators ready, aaaaand go!

The Officialish David Archuleta Fan Questionnaire

1. I have purchased every single David Archuleta album: Start with 10 points.

2. But I couldn’t bring myself to buy the stooopid memory box: Subtract 10 points.

3. I’m one of those people who spends most of David’s concerts filming or cell-casting them to share with others: Add 1,000,000 points.

4. I have been known to tweet “David Archuleta doesn’t walk, he floats on silver-lined clouds of magnificence that radiate with the perfection of a thousand stars”: You’re right… but subtract 1,000,000 points.

5. I’ve gifted other fans with concert tickets or CDs at least once: Add 500 points.

6. Pre-mission, I mailed several letters to David that included self-addressed envelopes… doused in perfume: Subtract 25 points and return the grass you stole from his yard.

7. I try to donate to David’s charities when I can: Add 65 points.

500653-david_archuleta_live_617_409-e12959217938518. I’ve been known to creep David’s friends and family on social media: Subtract a point for every incident… two points for downloading family photos.

9. I’ve gone way out of my comfort zone by traveling to faraway David performances: Add 100 points.

10. Cozying up to David’s team has wrangled me backstage/meet & greet opportunities: Subtract no points but feel the daggers of 1,000 jealous fans.

11. I power-voted for David on Idol: Add 1,000 points.

12. I fake-name-and-age voted for David for the Teen Choice Awards: Add 2,000 points… and you can throw out the Clearasil now.

13. I wish this was a pic of David and not his cousin Fernando: Subtract 25 points and wash your eyes out with soap.

14. I’ve never seen David live and my country will probably never be on his tour list but I’m still his forever fan: Add 2 million points.

15. I believe he’s keeping his hair so short because he doesn’t want anyone but himself selling his locks on eBay: You’re right… but still subtract 50 points.

16. I am listening to David’s music less and less and Beebs’ and Miley’s more and more: Subtract 50 points and smack yourself in the head.

17. I cried when he made his Announcement… with sorrow: Add 250 points.

18. I cried when he made his Announcement… with joy: Add 250 points.

19. I like his songs but download them for free online: Subtract all your points and set yourself on fire.

20. I have Chords of Strength memorized: Subtract all your points and set the book on fire.

21. I love Elevator: Add a bajillion points and come on by for cake anytime.

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Credit: Miranda Tacchia.

Now add up your points with your sharpie (you know you have one… just in case):

1-250: You barely scrape by as a fan. In fact, your stan card is under review for possible revocation. To be reinstated, you need to say four verses of Prayer of the Children and the Fa La La poem… aloud… on your lawn.

250-500: You’re a six-degrees-of-separation fan. You believe that if you stow away on Justin Timberlake’s tour bus, massage Jason Hewlett’s face, and tutor one of the ShayTard kids, you’ll eventually become bff ‘s with the Archuleta vet and get to hang with David. (Side note: The Archuleta vet’s not returning my calls for some strange reason.)

500-750: You are an average fan. You are so average, in fact, that you probably aren’t reading this because you aren’t extreme enough to troll Twitter or lurk on fan sites. It is rumoured you spell Archuleta with two “Ts”.

750-850: You are a good fan, except on the days when you’re a bad fan. You only criticize David, his team, his family, his beliefs, and other fans when they truly deserve it and you make sure you do so under the uber-creative screen names of “Anonymous,” “Lurker” or “Feel Free to Smack Me.”

850-1,000: You are a goodish fan. You only bought his Idol tracks and Glad Christmas Tidings. You might consider buying more if he comes back and duets with Susan Boyle.

1,000-1,200: You are a moderate fan. Moderately insane. You have so many David autographs, you’ve considered forging cheques with them. You sublet in Rancagua and sleep with a Josh Bradley body pillow.

1,200+: You are the perfect fan.* David has no clue who you are and he likes it that way. But he appreciates everything you do so much that when he looks straight into the camera during “Touch My Hand,” he is totally looking at you. For real.

*Yes, this was my score. Thanks for asking.

P.S.
ROFL – give this dad 1,000 points!

P.P.S.

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Click 4 more pics.

Horchata

Posted in Fan experience | Tagged | 11 Comments

What happens in Ethiopia, stays in Ethiopia, right @DavidArchie?

A little too not over the fact that there were no videos of the songs David sang in Ethiopia (where is Jason when you need him? :) )…

Here’s what we do know, however (not really):

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tumblr_mewfkrlbv01rggcu6o1_400And there’s more:
Hansens In Uganda
Bob & Joyce in Africa
LDS Living

Video snippet of David getting a “tip” :)

So how about you guys?? Wassup??

Posted in Utter nonsense | Tagged | 28 Comments