Does anything capture the mood of this pandemic more than hiding under the covers surrounded by pillows?? Just me? mkay.

On David Archuleta’s birthday today, what could be a better time to rank our King’s preference for fluffy, cottony cushions?

So here we go, using my own personal ranking system formulated after months of perfecting algorithms, consulting focus groups, and flipping coins.

Losing Sleep pillows

Okay, these pillows are clearly the gold standard where the David pillow-verse is concerned. Could he look any comfier? Even though he’s singing about being melatonin- and sleep-deprived, these cloud-like cushions look like they dropped from heaven. Ranking 10/10.

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Tik Tok @muffymarraco Trivia Challenge

In contrast to the Losing Sleep set-up, here David looks like someone tucked him in like a human burrito. I’m guessing foam- not down-filled, with an excess of starch in the pillowcase… give the boy some Downy, for Pete’s sake! Ranking 2/10.

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Tik Tok Miley’s 16th Birthday chat

If you read the comments on this one, some peeps suspected David was high, hahaha… pillows high on thread count, I say!!! That smile says it all. Obvs these pillows were super soft and comfy, inducing a dreamy euphoria akin to, um, birthday cake. 🙂 Ranking 7/10.

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Tik Tok @djgallixc jamming

How comfortable were these pillows? So luxurious that David did two, count ’em, TWO TTs where he’s jamming to this DJ’s tunes. Pillow dancing is a rare talent but David clearly excels… ‘natch. Ranking 8/10.

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Up All Night reflections

These pillows look flat and lifeless but hey, they were clearly from the prop department so they were likely filled with sawdust and diminished expectations. But they did work well for the scenes of the rooftop gathering reflected on them, so hey, that’s show biz! Ranking: 5/5.

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Nandito Ako pillow scenes

Who knew Nandito Ako had so many pillow scenes?? Score! lol The first one was hilarious as David appears be lying on wood planks with his head on a cardboard box wrapped in fabric. Ranking: 2/10.

The second one gives us some homey flashes of coloured linens (with David nursing a sore head… was that from the altercation with the oar-wielding dude on the beach?). Ranking 5/10.

And the last one is a hospital pillow… say no more. Ranking 2/10.

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In conclusion:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVID!!!

MAY ALL YOUR DAYS BE FILLED WITH JOY AND WONDER AND ALL YOUR PILLOWS FILLED WITH THE SOFT DOWN OF A BABY UNICORN!!!!!