The crack investigative team at SAz* brings you another scoop… a transcript of leaked audio from a behind-the-scenes shot recently tweeted by the lovely @MyDearWriter:
I don’t know how I feel about David spending so much time “outdoors”… does he not know the dangers that lurk around every corner? Trees that fall in the forest with no one there to hear them may not make a sound but they can cause a nasty concussion. And I see trees in this picture! BIG ONES!!!!
Giant evergreens that could come crashing down at any moment, or at the very least cause really really bad splinters.
And what was he thinking standing within attack range of such a frightening beast? That calf may look all innocent and sweet but do not be fooled my friends. Hoof and mouth disease is serious business and from what I can see, that calf has both a mouth and four hooves. That look in its eye looks wild, too … has it been checked for rabies? Rage issues?
And someone said he got bitten by something. Oh dear Lord & Taylor, was it a wolf? A polar bear?? I knew it. He is taking WAY too many chances in that “outdoors” place of which he speaks. First blimp riding and zip lining and now this. His thrill-seeking ways have GOT to stop.
I must say, I am also very disturbed by the bond he’s been forming with this country life. First calf feeding, then what? Lamb shearing??!! Twitter rumours are already swirling that he’s going to go off and join a rodeo.
Does he even care about us anymore? Or does he only want fans who are dairy farmers? What if he’s only writing songs about fertilizers and threshing machines now? How can he fulfill all of our career expectations for him if that’s the case??!
Wait… oh my heck, the clues have been there all along. He loves food… that comes from farms. And, oh geez, the corn mazes … and all those plaid shirts!!!
Sorry, I’ve gotta go buy myself a tractor before it’s too late.
p.s.
AND HE JUST TWEETED LYRICS FROM THE MOVIE “MOO-lan”… I REST MY CASE!!!!!
"Let's get down to business, to defeat…. The HUNS!" 🎶🎶 Anybody with me? 😉
THE FEATURE FILM EXTRAVAGANZA WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!
*drumroll*
ARCHZILLA! the hypnotizing and mesmerizing story of an average, freakishly talented Murray native whose life takes a surprising turn after a crazy experiment in a hidden Utah funeral-potatoes lab goes terribly wrong.
Grip the edge of your seats as David “I don’t like to be the centre of attention” Archuleta supersizes into the GIANT talent we’ve always known he is… literally!
Don your 3-D glasses as he appears out of the desert, dwarfing  the stunning landscape around him.
Every heart-pounding moment is a roller-coaster* ride of thrills and suspense! Will he find the antidote?? Will he be able to continue to keep a low social-media profile?? Will his vast collection of white shirts and ties still fit???
Stay tuned for the action-packed trailer:
Is it a bird? A plane? NO! IT’S ARCHZILLA!!! AND HE’S HUNGRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
Leaping lizards (or Davids 🙂 ). What words does one use in this situation? Stunned? Gobsmacked? D-smacked is more like it.
David rocking out with four fiddlers. David Zero Gravity jumping.
What even?
I hope full recordings surface. You know, like back in the old days when ninja Archies would have BEEN at that fundraiser whether David liked it or not, takin’ names and — more importantly — videos.
I take back everything I said on the last thread… finally was able to download this and am blown away by how beautiful it is. I think his voice overwhelmed me on the first listen so I didn’t really “hear” the song itself, if that makes sense.
I know it’s for church youth (at least I think that’s what “EFY” is) but I think this song could be about so many different things… about a higher power, sure, but about a teacher or grandfather or friend. Anyway, gorgeous gorgeous vocals we haven’t really heard quite like this before. A soulful tenderness with new depths? K, I’m just rambling now, lol.
Now I know why this rose fainted on D’s lapel while he sang. 🙂
I’m sure you’ve seen these “How Old Do I Look” pics from the how-old.net site all over your FB feed.
And since I had some free time in between brokering world peace and finding a cure for ebola, I thought I’d see how David’s album covers fared.
bwahaha
*drum roll*
Here are the results (saving the best for last 🙂 ):
Despite still being a teenager when Crush & the little red album came out, David scores a mature 27/28 for those covers … take THAT flight attendants monitoring the escape routes…. . . . .
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And he matures to a whopping 33 & 28 for TOSOD (& TOSOD Asia Edition)… bring on those grandpa cardigans!!!
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..
This next one is actually right on. Forevermore came out in March 2012 when David was, in fact, 21. Which is extremely disappointing because it doesn’t allow me to crack any jokes.
“Mission” albums, Begin. and No Matter How Far… these numbers must be measuring him in dog years….
.
And just for variety …Elder Archie, a glowy 25…..
… as is “fierce David”… So D., if you need to look your age, just make this face: 🙂
Speaker David is uber-mature (obvs)….
….
and last, but certainly not least …
one that will surprise exactly NO ONE …
the CFTH cover….
Moral of the story? Your eyes don’t lie but album covers sure can.
David Archuleta singing Glorious in Spanish … did not know I needed this in my life but wow, just wow, ay carumba … cuán glorioso*!!!! It is official… Señor Daveeed Archuleta is trying to kill meeeeee!
And from the ever-amazing Abrra! Fresh treats from Abrra’s Candy Jar ~ GLORIOUS David Archuleta (Versión en Español).mp3 Audio (.MP3) http://tinyurl.com/nbkobf6
Abrra
*how Glorious! (google translate, baby 🙂 )
p.s.
UPDATE: New pics from UVU (thx. @marthaPB!)
“Introducing the youngest President of the United Singing States, Mr. David Archuleta”
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I have no caption for this one… he is scaring me right now….
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“I would now like to spend the next 20 minutes talking about how amazing my fans are” (heh heh)
Speculation can now be put to an end… here is the almost certainly, possibly, maybe, in an alternate universe, definitive reason David posted the clip from Aladdin:
SnowAngelz: Canadian fans of David Archuleta 