Old MacDonald @DavidArchie: What it all really means (not really)

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I don’t know how I feel about David spending so much time “outdoors”… does he not know the dangers that lurk around every corner? Trees that fall in the forest with no one there to hear them may not make a sound but they can cause a nasty concussion. And I see trees in this picture! BIG ONES!!!!

Giant evergreens that could come crashing down at any moment, or at the very least cause really really bad splinters.

And what was he thinking standing within attack range of such a frightening beast? That calf may look all innocent and sweet but do not be fooled my friends. Hoof and mouth disease is serious business and from what I can see, that calf has both a mouth and four hooves. That look in its eye looks wild, too … has it been checked for rabies? Rage issues?

And someone said he got bitten by something. Oh dear Lord & Taylor, was it a wolf? A polar bear?? I knew it. He is taking WAY too many chances in that “outdoors” place of which he speaks. First blimp riding and zip lining and now this. His thrill-seeking ways have GOT to stop.

I must say, I am also very disturbed by the bond he’s been forming with this country life. First calf feeding, then what? Lamb shearing??!! Twitter rumours are already swirling that he’s going to go off and join a rodeo.

Does he even care about us anymore? Or does he only want fans who are dairy farmers? What if he’s only writing songs about fertilizers and threshing machines now? How can he fulfill all of our career expectations for him if that’s the case??!

Wait… oh my heck, the clues have been there all along. He loves food… that comes from farms. And, oh geez, the corn mazes … and all those plaid shirts!!!

Sorry, I’ve gotta go buy myself a tractor before it’s too late.


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19 Responses to Old MacDonald @DavidArchie: What it all really means (not really)

  1. Abrra says:

    You make me /snort! LOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

  2. lynnella says:

    This is a very funny article. But, seriously, you’re right, all the signs were there. I saw a comment on the Voice from Oliveoil. She said he’s been visiting Sawyer Fredericks. He has a new calf and the picture is so cute. I could see David and Sawyer teaming up. David could really give him some pointers. I so enjoy your sense of humor.

  3. peppertara says:

    This is hilarious! You’ve done it again TOfan, what would we do without your great humour and SnowAngelz writing skillz! LoL. Still laughing….and don’t forget the farmer’s tan he often talked about. Yes, the clues definitely seem to be there.
    “Or does he only want fans who are dairy farmers?”
    ” What if he’s only writing songs about fertilizers and threshing machines now?”
    “and all those plaid shirts!!!” Haha, love your wit!
    Hey, if anybody could sing about fertilizers and threshing machines and turn it into something amazing…it would be David. Haha.

  4. Martha says:

    Your take on this whole incident is right on. What would he do without us to warn him of the hidden dangers of life on the farm? Does he know he could dirty-up those lovely New Balance shoes by taking one misstep? Seriously, very funny! 😆

  5. TaterZen says:

    BWAHAHAHA! You do present some hilarious concerns here. I can hear the speculation growing now. Thank goodness you have come to give us these needed farm facts.

    David is actually out standing in any field—har har. Maybe he could deliver a full crop of farm tunes for pop radio. I would buy them by the bushel; you know I would, including that one about threshing machines. Other possibilities?

    Notice Me Being Rural
    Zero Apathy
    A Little Too Not Over Ewe
    Barriers and Barbed Wire
    Good Place for Growing Potatoes

    Hey, do not scoff or doubt! Even the great Ella Fitzgerald had a big hit with “Cow Cow Boogie.”

  6. refnaf says:

    Oh heck I’ll hop on the tractor if I have too!!! Just PLEASE David, no country music!! That I could not bear eeeeek

    TOfan is the best in case anyone was wondering !!!!

  7. I actually think that Sawyer’s mention of the farm, nature, open fields and woods along with a picture of his cows running to greet him and then Sawyer’s newborn calf picture may have rung a ‘bell’ with David. See what you can be reminded of by those younger than yourself? We were years ago.

    Sawyer is greatly admired by so many artists and people of all ages that it is interesting to see just why. I am certain David saw what it is all about as millions of Americans tuned in to a most popular show. Maybe Sawyer will somehow influence him. You never know when someone else will come along and remind you of such a natural life. I know he reminded me.

    Sawyer starts his work with Pharrell in just a few days. So nice to watch older artists working with the up and coming stars.

    Hoping the best for David’s future.

    Cheers to the newborn calves!

    SB 🍁

  8. jackryan4DA says:

    Nowadays, I rarely have time to check Archuland but I always make an exception for your postings cos I KNOW it will be worth a golden laugh. You never disappoint 🙂 Hilarious!

    Thanks a bunch and hello to all Archies!

    ps: They should check that calf for Archunitis. Just sayin….

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