SnowAngelz: Canadian fans of David Archuleta

Besides the loveliness of The Hobbit quote David shared today, I was struck by two things:

1) I remembered when he gave that talk in Hawaii (on the panel of YouTube stars, the irony of which still KEELS me)… and he said something along the lines of “What’s the point of having all these followers on social media if you’re not going to do some good with that” … and he clearly takes that very seriously.

So no more telling cats to hush or poetic odes to crunchy Triscuits.

Makes me a little sad, though, that he never understood how much good he WAS doing with those quirky tweets. How many thousands of smiles he sparked. How many bad days he turned around.

That’s one of the reasons I want to hug the guy who posted this comment on D’s FB:

2) What was the second thing again? Oh, right. The care David took to post the quote in three separate places. (oh joy that he hasn’t figured out you can post to all three places from IG… but on the other hand, it probably makes him think, rethink and think again to make sure each post is just so… you know?).

And can’t you just picture him pouring through Google images to find just the right shot of Gandalf?

I can, in fact I imagine it went something like this:

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“hmmm, not quite…”

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“drats, the pipe… wish I knew Photoshop….”

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“um, no….”

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“Oh man, this quote is good too… I. AM. NOT. GOOD. AT. MAKING. DECISIONS!!!!”

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*searches for Sharpie*

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“He does have a point…”

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“POKEMON!!!!!!”

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“Must be from the sequel?”

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“Sheesh, again with the smoking???”

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“LEGOOOOOO!”

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“hmm, doesn’t really go with the quote….”

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But then… just when D’Arch was about to give up hope… there it was….

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAu3XLHly6C/?taken-by=davidarchie
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p.s.
And gotta love some of the comments:

… “in case you thought I meant Gandalf” 🙂

I’m sure he’ll do that, rapunjzel, right after he follows you.

After losing Snape and Bowie, I do not blame you!

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Ah, Build-A-Bear song reference, how I’ve missed you….

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How about you guys? What was your take on the quote?

You know how, right after the indulgence of the holidays, you make a bunch of resolutions to start working out more, managing your time better, setting goals and working toward them? Well, I don’t, but I’ve heard a rumour that some others do that.

And we know from past quiet David Januarys and Februarys (Januaries and Februaries?) that David is BIG on lists and resolutions and the like and does super drastic things like taking social media off his phone so he can be more … what’s that word he loves to use? … productive, that’s it.

Now, clearly, since 2015 was bandied about in a bunch of places as the year when he’d be releasing new music and David doesn’t like to disappoint people… or be late… or get his years mixed up … it’s pretty obvious what he’s busy doing right now… gettin’ busy. His last tweet mentioned “anxiety” … coincidence? I think not.

After all, he does have a bunch of sold-out shows he’s committed to doing, which he probably wants his new music out in advance of, so like, you know, no pressure or anything.

Anywayyyyys, if his quietude means we get any new tunes at all from him, I say, soldier on Mr. Archuleta, you are definitely worth waiting for.

In the meantime, I like to focus on truly important matters. Like, when he gets back on the scene, he’s going to need some new techniques to avoid being swarmed by fans wanting autographs, selfies, hugs, high-fives or just to breathe the same air as D’Arch.

Is his current cap-sunglasses combo stopping peeps from recognizing him?

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Not so much.

So here, David, free of charge, are some suggestions to help you go in flagrante incognito.

IDEA #1
Clip-on Man Bun. Is this perfect, or what? David could clip this on and NO ONE would ever guess he was the one, the only, David “glows like a night light” Archuleta. BAM.

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IDEA #2
This is a little number I like to call “Amish Hoodie” after a hysterically funny episode of a Canadian show I love called Schitt’s Creek. It has feathers across the top, further adding to the disguise. And David likes hoodies, so there you go. Win/Win.

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IDEA #3
Grizzly Adamschuleta … My personal view is that men should only grow beards if they have a weak chin, or something else to hide… so David clearly is not a good candidate… but disguise potential? High, very high.

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IDEA #4
HEY, IT WORKED FOR CLARK KENT!!!!

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IDEA #5
I know this is controversial, but I was #TeamBeanie back in the day. Of course, as soon as he flashes that smile, it’s game over disguise-wise.

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IDEA #6
He could go full-on Sia…minus the lipstick of course… although that would really throw off the papparazzi.

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IDEA #7
Too extreme?

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IDEA #8
Again with the hoodies… but I think this one’s a winner. And warm. Looks very warm.

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IDEA #9
Okay, okay, this one is a little Josh Bradleyesque … and sidenote: that bunny suit didn’t actually work for Josh… but this, um, headwear might cause enough of a distraction to keep his identity under wraps.

I’d advise him not to wear it during hunting season, however.

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IDEA #10
Saved the best for last. Practical AND effective. Come on you knitters out there, get those needles flying… THE ARCHULETA NEEDS YOU!!!!!

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How about you guys?

Are you happy David’s hunkering down, so to speak, getting down to business? Are you getting ODD withdrawal shakes and DTs? Or are you just worried he’s fallen among the balloons and can’t get up?

p.s.
Had to add this one… combines his love for hoodies with his penchant for dinosaurs… and he could glide through any flower shop, Korean BBQ or plaid-shirt outlet mall completely unnoticed … you’re welcome, David, most welcome.

● Do copious quantities of drugs (not recommended).

● Eat copious quantities of chocolate (recommended).

● Flail about this:

#CarpoolKaraoke. @Adele. Wednesday. https://t.co/ZD0RJpJPW7

— The Late Late Show (@latelateshow) January 12, 2016

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● Read Chords of Strength backwards and find hidden meanings… like “sang I when direction me gave that audience the in out people the of eyes the in looks the always was it all after”… wow.

● Watch American Idol’s final season!!!

● Start working out.

● Watch all the fall/Christmas tour videos and weep at their perfection. (check)

● Buy some jewelry.

● Get some reading done.

● Put your headphones on and remind yourself of the beauty of this:

● Become a Bieber fan

● Write a long letter to David outpouring all your heartfelt support, urging him to “take all the time he needs” then put it through the shredder, burn the shreddings in a big bonfire on the beach and instead send a postcard that reads, “WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!?!?! Sincerely, a friend.”

● Then chill

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● Do good deeds for people in need, smile at strangers, shovel your neighbour’s driveway, visit a local orphan …. (Hey, wait a minute… David, dude, did you hack into my post????)*

When all else fails….

● Sleep with the zucchini

How about you guys? Any better ideas?

*GIF source: the illustrious @rhiminee