.
There is SO much emotion and power and general amazingness to talk about with this song, that it took two of us. 🙂 Me and the lovely and amazing Ms. Janey.
I’ll go first:
Like many of you, I was blown away when I first heard Upset With Me.
It was just so raw, so real, like a spike to the heart.
It felt like David ripped open his soul and let us climb inside for 4 minutes, 53 seconds.
And the fact that it was the one song on the album he wrote completely solo made it the most personal.
After listening a while, one thing that really struck me about it was its point of view.
Even though the lyrics say things like, “You scream so loud, so I hide from you,” the title of the song is “Upset With Me” … not “Upset With You.”
The person who’s afraid and being screamed at has every right to declare, “I am upset with you,” but no … it’s framed the other way around. “I’m sorry if I’ve done anything
That makes you feel that I hurt you.”
To me, this beautifully reflects how complicated core relationships can be. How those you love can often hurt you the most. How difficult and painful it can be to assert yourself and set boundaries while trying to heal a fractured relationship.
I totally related to this song, for my own personal reasons, and was so moved by the way David was able to express his own feelings of hurt and betrayal while acknowledging, “I still love you.” Not easy. Not by a long shot.
I’ve heard lots of speculation about what the bridge could be about:
Painted eyes reaching for the sky
As we reach the moon
Busting clouds
Oh, you scream so loud
So I hide from you
And the first time I heard it, I immediately felt it was like a dream sequence in a book or a movie, with flashing images that don’t always make logical sense … like one of those recurring nightmares you have as a child… my own always featured bears or wolves trying to break through our doors and windows to get into the house and have us all for lunch, lol.
Here, I pictured a doll with painted eyes sitting in the corner staring out the window at the moon and clouds while everything else is going on. But I like some mystery in a song, so I’m okay with David never specifically spelling it out.
One of the most powerful sections to me is when his voice rises up at the end of the line, “For now, it’s something I needed to dooooo ahhhh,” which felt like a spirit breaking free into a bluer sky, if that makes sense. And by following that with, “I need to keep me safe from you”… BAM. Like a gut punch.
But beyond the emotional rawness and turmoil of the song’s subject matter, it’s still just a really good song that I love listening to because of the haunting melody, the sound of his voice, the layers of sound, the depth of feeling it evokes … everything.
How brave of David to include this song on the album. He’s said he’s not in that place anymore. From his blurb about it on his Insta post, it sounds as though writing and recording the song helped him process it all. I totally get that.
To me, the final lines are classic David. Reaching out with encouragement to others who may need it. But also ending on a high note… quite literally.
~ TOfan
.
.
And thanks to the lovely and amazing Janey for remembering this early sneak peek of Upset With Me:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BJvkiF3DX4_/?taken-by=davidarchie
Speaking of Janey… I asked her to share her thoughts on the song and she kindly did, here’s her take on it:
Maybe someday
You’d take the chance to listen to me
And then you’d know
That I still love you
From the beginning, it’s laid out that the author is coming from a very grown up place, not putting blame on either party for what has transpired in the past and is willing to let the other person know, this is coming from a place of love and wanting to make the relationship better.
I’m sorry for the way
We might have behaved
It leaves you up and down
I fell to the ground
Had to escape
“I fell to the ground, Had to escape”
Here come my tears.
I know you’re upset with me
But you can’t keep hurting me
The author is taking responsibility for their future relationship.
If you disagree
With every word I speak
I told you what I feel
You say it’s not real
So I’m leaving
Again, the future will be determined by the author’s actions.
I know you’re upset with me
But you can’t keep hurting me
If I’m not enough
To show you who I am
After all I’ve done
Then it’s too tough for you to understand
I’m taking back what’s mine
We both sacrificed
Gave everything we had
But I don’t have to give you my life
Stating how it will be from now on. A declaration of independence.
I know you’re upset with me
But you can’t keep hurting me
I’m sorry if I’ve done anything
That makes you feel that I hurt you
I’m not sure what I’m running to
For now it’s something I needed to do
I need to keep me safe from you
You still can’t see
Why can’t you see?
The first time I heard “I need to keep me safe from you” I felt my heart breaking. This song is about someone very close to the author and the author is questioning why the other person is so far removed from his point of view, from his need to grow up and grow away.
Painted eyes reaching for the sky
As we reach the moon
Busting clouds
Oh, you scream so loud
So I hide from you
I never said a word to you
So I hide the truth
What did I do?
What did I do?
This strikes me at my core like no other set of lyrics ever have. I remember listening to the song for the very first time and was in tears from the beginning. By the time I got to this I was full on bawling.
I have to be honest, I don’t know the literal meaning of this, I only know how it makes me feel. It takes me back to my childhood when my young neighbor was often beaten by his mother. I think I remember seeing it happen once or perhaps I have conjured up the image in my mind based on the screams I heard. To this day, I feel guilty having done nothing, but as a child in the 1960s and with parents who insisted it was none of our business, what was there to do? I’m glad there has been some improvement in that area.
If I had to put into words what images these words evoke, what comes to mind is painted eyes reaching for the sky as we reach the moon, reaching out for help and it’s not there, reaching out more, but still no help. Someone is verbally or physically abusing someone and they try to hide.
“What did I do?” tells me a child is blaming themselves for the actions of their abuser. It is the most poignant part of the song and the most gut wrenching. I want to take that child and say, as Robin Williams says to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”
~ chords and background vocals
this is where the emotion hits the hardest for me. listen to the wailing in the background. If that doesn’t hit you in the gut, nothing ever will.
If there is someone
Who needs to know
Protect yourself and find the help
To let you go
You can let yourself be heard
As always, in true David fashion, he tries to reach out to those in need, letting them know what they need to do to help themselves get to a better place.
………………………….
A few random thoughts on production and such:
I find the single piano note disturbing in that it creates tension but essential in that it adds angst to the song. It is a brilliant way to showcase the lyrics. I also find that depending on the sound system in use it can sound strikingly beautiful (the rental car in Nashville in the hotel parking lot) or not the best to my overly sensitive ears (my dated volvo).
The album placement is also noteworthy:
- I’m Ready starts off the middle set – David readying himself to go on his mission.
- Other Things in Sight – “Who do you think you’re talking to,” I can’t add anything to that. Go David, go!
- Say Me – he’s finding his voice.
- Upset With Me, he’s using his new found voice and independence to clarify and mend some old wounds.
- The lovely Up All Night finishes up the transition with David finding acceptance and a new place he can call home:Hear my heart, and there’s an answered prayer
Feel the magic in the midnight air
Breathe it in, I wanna pass it on
The strength of fighting somewhere you belongHere so small but I am safe and sound
Where I stand it feels like solid ground
No where else that I’d rather be
No greater gift than what you’ve given me
~ Janey
.
p.s.
From Tina’s illustrious Tumblr *all the praise hands*
.
How about you guys?? How did the song make you feel?
.
.
As I might have shared here, ahem, a few times, I am still truly, madly, deeply in love with the Postcards in Disguise ( 🙂 ) title track.
SnowAngelz: Canadian fans of David Archuleta 