We’re in the middle of a David drought and since we’re all going a little stir crazy I was thinking, why not turn this into something positive, David would be so proud of us!
I took some time to compile a list of activities to help keep everyone busy during this down time:
1. Alphabetize your YouTube videos of David. WARNING: This can be a very dangerous endeavour. You can easily fall into the DVV (David Video Vortex). I made the mistake of viewing each video before alphabetizing it. Some required (ahem) multiple viewings. I began my “project” on a Friday evening. By Sunday, I had only made it to Barriers. I think you catch my drift. Proceed with caution.
2. Crunch the numbers. Make an appointment with your investment counselor to discuss the financial planning that will be required to fund all the VIP tickets you’ll be purchasing. Rethink your current strategy. Do your kids REALLY need to go to college? Why should YOU have to pay for their wedding? And as far as retirement goes, you could just sell the house and buy a Winnebago. You’ll be on the road “touring,” so you won’t need a house, right?
3. Inspect yer gadgets. Check the status of all the electronic devices that you’ve purchased since becoming a David fan. Cell phones, laptops, iPods, digital cameras, GPS’s and all of the associated batteries, adapters, chargers, power cords and carrying cases. Ask yourself these important questions:
Is your current cellular phone plan, cell phone, battery life and reception adequate for all the texting, tweeting, TwitPicing and cellcasting you’ll be doing?
- Does your digital camera take really clear pictures and is it capable of capturing Mr. A when he’s running and twirling all over the stage?
- And that video camera, can it zoom in REALLY close, like enough to see the hair on the back of a gnat? Is it small enough to hide from security?
- Do you have the most current software on your GPS so you won’t get lost in all of the strange new cities you’ll be traveling to for DA’s concerts?
4. Check your luggage. Does it have wheels? You may also need a larger suitcase to carry all the aforementioned equipment from concert to concert, not to mention extra space for the multiple outfits, shoes and accessories you’ll be bringing when you can’t make up your mind on what to wear for your VIP picture with David.
5. International fan alert. Is your passport up to date? Have you practiced the deep-breathing exercises necessary to maintain composure when being grilled by border patrol? (See previous Border Crossings post for more tips.)
6. Practice your screams. Stamina is the goal. Endurance is required to be able to scream through David’s entire set. You can practice by screaming at the dog, your kids, your significant other, your neighbor or complete strangers. Or for inspiration, go bungee jumping or ride the REALLY BIG roller coaster at the amusement park — whatever it takes to get those lungs in shape.
Hopefully, if we follow these simple guidelines, we’ll be ready for David’s next tour!
And the Gold Medal winner of the “If David ran the Olympics” contest is *drum roll*…
Fanis Archangelicus! The contest was a random draw of all entries, but to refresh your memory, Fanis suggested that if David ran the Games: “all cats in the vicinity of the venues would have to be hushed.” 😆 Congrats, Fanis, and thank you to all who contributed such podium-worthy ideas!
Olympic Mittens Contest #2
And the winners are … *drum roll* … djxox and awestruck! Congratulations to you both!