7 reasons David should stop reading fan comments

The lovely oliveoil’s comment today (on this post from last summer) … along with David’s blog today… got me to read this post again, and I realize I still feel the same way I did then — and I’m thrilled he does too.

What did you guys think of his blog???

(and hey, is this not an A+++++ smile (no science needed)?

**********

(repost from June 2014)
10155140_836714873022077_485396357_nI thought this before the vlog, but it became even clearer to me after watching the vlog (which was awesome and all that, but just reinforced my own personal opinion on this)… David’s a grownup and can clearly tell us off in his own lovely David way, but this is my rant and I’m sticking to it:

7 reasons David should stop reading fan comments (on Twitter, youTube, wherever):

1. Life’s too short. For the thousands of supportive “I’m a forever fan” comments out there, the handful of “WANT VLOG NOW!” or “YOU SUCK!” … or worse … are the ones that stick. I heard a novelist interviewed on the radio this morning who said he was depressed for six months over a single bad review (despite all the glowing ones he got). It’s human nature. He no longer reads reviews, btw (and probably doesn’t read Twitter comments either. 🙂 ).

2.We are a bunch of freaks (myself included). Nice, well-meaning freaks, for the most part, but freaks nonetheless. I’ve embraced my freakdom. Face it. It’s just not “normal” to obsessively follow a 17-year-old singer for six years. I’ve accepted that fact. And if you haven’t, answer me this? Is your David fandom something you’d list on your list of “interests” on a job application? Online dating profile? In your Christmas letter to extended family? Fan (short for “fanatic”) freaks — who have no idea what it’s like to live their idol’s life or to forge a career in the music business — don’t generally offer helpful insights to that artist. Just sayin’.

3. David owes us nothing. Zero. Bupkis. We are a self-interested bunch. Unlike David, who pursues music because of what he can give, not what he can get, we fans operate the other way around. We want, want, want, MORE from David. Even paying for a CD or a concert ticket doesn’t entitle us to anything… we get so much MORE in return. Like the credit card ad says, “CD: $12.99 … hearing David sing: PRICELESS.” More reward than we actually deserve, imo. David did not ask us to wait for two years, vote in polls, start or read fan blogs, all that other stuff that some peeps seem to think he owes us for. He doesn’t.

4. We are fickle and sometimes outright lie to him. “Ooooo, take as long as you need for yourself when you get back” many fans wrote to David online to welcome him home. FALSE. Two short months later many of these same fans were nagging him online for news… sounds like some even called him “lazy” (as if). So why should he pay attention to anything we say, when our adoration and loyalty can turn on a dime if we don’t get tossed enough cookies.

5. We care too much. You can’t trust the opinions of people over-invested in you — no objectivity there at all. When I see peeps tweeting other celebs, suggesting they work with David, I cringe. (Have I done this? Possibly, I can’t remember… that’s what fan freakishness does to you — affects your memory and your judgment.) Gives me flashbacks of my mom calling the mother of a classmate I had a crush on asking the mom to ask her son to take me to the school dance. I knew she meant well but NO! Just, NO!!!!!

6. It’s asking for trouble. Remember after the Idol finale, where David practically left his aorta on that stage, and he said, “I hope that’s enough for them”… broke my heart, but he was right … it will never be enough for some of us. I’m not saying fans shouldn’t voice their opinions. Go for it! Knock yourselves out! (In some cases, literally.) But should David open that Pandora’s Box? (Which might look like it’s filled with rose petals, but it only takes one hidden viper to poison you.)

7. Our opinions matter… to us! David does not need to see them. IMO, they only add to the pressure he’s already under, and distract him from making the amazing life-changing music he was born to make. What if Michelangelo had been on Tumblr and kept having to read, “Dude, enough with the chapel ceilings! How about something for us agnostics!”  (And yes, I did just compare David to Michelangelo.)

Even reading the positive, supportive comments is not a good idea. I remember when Bonnie Hunt gave David great advice to not listen to either the praise or the critics. I doubt David goes near fansites with a 10-foot-pole but if he does … STOP READING NOW AND NEVER COME BACK! We need to hear what you have to say — in music obviously, on Twitter, in vlogs, Instagram, whatever you like — yes, it is part of your “job” … but, trust me, you do not need to hear what we have to say. Even this post. It’s a test. Avert your eyes.

So, am I nuts? What do you guys think?

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38 Responses to 7 reasons David should stop reading fan comments

  1. Grammyj says:

    This is GREAT!!! I agree with all your points. We ODD fans are freaks, fickle and over-invested. Of course David owes us nothing. I don’t know how this fan business happened to me, but it has been fun. I love your sense of humor and keeping it real.

  2. mlpb3 says:

    Very well said. I totally agree.

  3. ray says:

    i agree

  4. emilyluvsarchie says:

    Best. Post. Ever. … I love you!

  5. peppertara says:

    Oh, great write up TOfan, ’tis your gift with words and expression and wit. Do love the optimist message too, good one! Ha, no you are not ‘nuts’ and maybe we really are all a bunch of freaks but it has been an enjoyable ‘freak ride”, have to say. Seems to be quite a few of us in this freakdom!
    Well, I know that David used to say that he didn’t read reviews, etc. but guess he does look at twitter messages (or at least some of them). It’s unfortunate that a few of them have been less than appreciative.
    Do get what you are saying, perhaps he should read messages only when he wants to have a little twitter party and read the nice letters he receives from appreciative fans.
    Yes, it’s been two years but as you said, he doesn’t owe us anything and we all should certainly be respectful of him and what he wants and needs. I think most fans mean no harm but at times some seem to lose sight of David, the person and his choices in HIS LIFE. Just shows you what an impact he has had on a lot of people.
    We know that he is not going to stop the music. Whatever form his future music takes on, with his gift for song and his tremendous sense of musicality, it can only be something worth waiting for.
    He’s already given a lot, I’m not put off by anything. I’m still an old freak. 🙂

  6. Kizzi says:

    Brilliantly brilliant my dear TOfan.

    You are N.O.T. nuts. However, in my humble opinion there is a segment of David fandom who can claim such (though they lack personal awareness to do so) as they love to stir controversy, inflame fandom for kicks, and, engage in ‘crazy making’ activities with gusto. I got caught up in refuting the insanity for a while. Made me crazy, lololol. Crazy making makes crazy. These “fans” won’t stop or change dramatically in short term.

    David will do what he will do. He appears to be setting up very healthy filters to process the continuum of feedback from haters to lovers and all points in between. Through his ups and downs I will be there to buy music, go to concerts and comment at SAz for as long as you keep this oh so wonderful blog open.

    Kudos to you! You inspire me and keep me centered.

  7. trace says:

    No, David doesn’t have to listen to the rants and OTT demands of us fans, the word does probably come from the other word “fanatic”. He needs to remain sane and focus on his work. He has grown up to that fact, even though his character is such that he wants to please people.
    Having peace and quiet and total immersement in an artiste’s creativity is liberating for the artistic flow. At this moment, David needs that, even though he might take a peek at us now and again to do a little “research’ haha.
    I think the “going’s on” in fansites are just for the fans – a place where they can go to seek comfort, to share points of agitation or to just read, have some fun then go away to live their real lives. David’s concerns should be just his work, explore his own capabilities, make use of that beautiful talent, and let us make all the noise – which we inevitably will – so carry on, Tofan! Great topic!

  8. Agreed!! David was good about that during Idol, if I remember. I can remember him saying he didn’t read blogs for good or bad comments. Agree-Don’t read twitter, Fan sites, non fan sites etc. etc. Also If family, friends are reading the comments-Tell them you are not interested.
    There are certain sites I avoid because of the negativity.

    Yours has been a God Send Tofan.

  9. archugeezer says:

    Are you nuts you ask? Not by a longshot. This post should be on repeat, and not just here. David probably got an eyeful when he initiated that recent Twitter party.

    I remember when I had no idea I was a freak, when I thought ODD was an automatic response from everyone who heard David sing. Yet how long did I try to keep my little hobby hidden from those outside my immediate family? Imagine my reaction when No. 3 daughter found every VIP photo of me with David and playfully included them in a slide show for a huge family reunion! This freak suddenly had a hidden past, and there is no greater meaning to the word “repercussions” than when it involves family. It is the same kind of mortification as when an old lady is being gently scolded by a 23-year old in a vlog.

    Let David be David. Isn’t that why we hopped onto his bandwagon in the first place? Make no mistake; I am still an unconditional forever fan, but I am smarter now. I don’t tell David about it.

    • You put a smile on my face. How embarrassing that #3 daughter showed your VIP pictures in a slide show.:)
      I remember when only your sign was in the picture with David. Now I know why!! 🙂

    • marin says:

      I could not help but chuckle, archugeezer, Oh My Heck that would be my worst nightmare! I have only had gentle teasing from family to date (knock on wood 🙂 ).

      And this post should be on repeat, yes! As peppertara said, the occasion Twitter party would help keep connections going but, as trace said, allow David to not get embroiled in fan drama on Twitter and just focus on making his music. I mean I saw fans tweeting David when he was away for two years, like letters to Santa, lol, they just needed to reach out I guess, which is fine. But you are so right, he doesn’t need to be reading that.

    • TOfan says:

      {{{{{{{{{geez}}}}}}}} my cheeks are flaming red just reading about your “outing” YIKES!!! And I thought it was tough having my David keychain fall out of my purse at work when I took a tumble last week… not even close! I’ll take the gentle D. scolding instead, thank you very much! ♥♥♥♥♥

  10. Haroldcpim says:

    Deb no I do not think you are nuts . He needs space and time to assess his life and what he wants . We need to give him that space. I know what will come will be amazing . I also his our ODD is freaky but I had an office if pictures to prove it .Lol! The people who support him and frequent this site are wonderful people that really love his because he gives us so much ! He possess the spirit and shares it with us In many ways. I love your blog and thoughts and keep them coming from one freak to another . Good think I don’t carry a purse for all my david memorabilia . I need a truck. . Lol don’t every stop writing. You have a way with words funny and serious . !!!!!!

  11. karenkid says:

    I agree 1000%!!

  12. amb4da says:

    ” What if Michelangelo had been on Tumblr and kept having to read, “Dude, enough with the chapel ceilings! How about something for us agnostics!”
    Oh Deb ❤ ❤
    Totally agree with everything. Have felt this way for a long time~You're right on.
    Back to read more later when I have time.
    and this:
    ps. "Remember after the Idol finale where David practically left his aorta on the stage" … That describes it so well…he really did…and he does that still. ..and "I hope that's enough for them'. " I'd forgotten he'd said that. *pang* …Yes, David…not just "enough", more like more than my heart can usually take.

  13. refnaf says:

    Returning to cyber world just to say “right on” TOfan…. 2 thumbs up and all that…
    I loved David’s vlog!!! and I love sassy David or whatever you want to call him….I backed off a while ago cause I realized waiting on every tweet and trying to interpret every move he makes IS freakish (for me any way) and our own choice! I am here for the long haul and anticipate great things in terms of music, tours etc… whenever they happen!!

    (((hugs))) to all…. I am having a wonderful crazy time, just had my Daughters wedding and my cousins from Holland are still here!!! We had a trip to Tobermory and played David all the way!!! They like HIM!!!!

  14. refnaf says:

    **spits coffee on keyboard** just saw the sidebar …..bahahahahahaha

  15. betsy says:

    Thank you. ♥

  16. Anonymous says:

    D’S IN NASHVILLE!!!! *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/* *\o/*

  17. Bychance says:

    I don’t even have the words to say how much I love this post.

  18. missbianca says:

    Deb, once again you are the most “right on” nut out there. I agree 100% with every one of your points.

    For me, much of my “David Archuleta fan-dom” is about my fellow fans. What’s the best part of each concert? Who I saw/got to meet/got to spend time with. The David stuff is kind of the decorations but my cake–what sustains my “addiction” is my interactions with everyone out there. I’ve met such great people! Anyway, what I’m saying is I really don’t want David to feel burdened with what we fans say to each other as fun or speculation. Get out of the blogs, D, OUT!

    I’m sure I’ll never suggest anything to David again, and if I’m going to mention that hair which is so much better looking when it covers a bit more forehead, I’m not going to include an @DavidArchie in the tweet.

  19. dangitdavid says:

    Just gonna say….love this post!!! And totally agree ❤

  20. TropicalAngel says:

    Hi TOfan,love your blogs, don’t agree 100%with this one. I liked when David said he had some sort of relationship with his fans, for that he can’t be the only one talking, he has to listen every once in a while! Twitter is the best way for that, I think that for every weirdo that tweets something inappropriate, there are hundreds of funny and heartwarming messages , he should be able at this point to sort them out, get the feedback and ignore the foolishness. By the way, I don’t tweet 🙂

    • marin says:

      TropicalAngel, I see your point but I remember when he said that about having a “relationship” with us in one of his blogs and that word/phrase stuck out to me immediately as something maybe he heard someone else say (manager or dad maybe?), or was advised to say. Just didn’t sound like him somehow. Maybe not, that’s just how it sounded to me.

      I think letters are great (people aren’t as anonymous and usually think twice before putting pen to paper), or live chats or twitter parties that he sets up/controls, I would think that would allow him to listen … on his terms. Maybe a compromise? Just my two cents. Will be listening in to the youth one he is doing on June 24… anyone else? 🙂

  21. Spirit says:

    TOfan…….I only had time to skim this post quickly when you first posted it, but came back today for a better look. I have to tell you that I love it and agree with everything you said!

  22. Nan says:

    Deb! Thumbs Up!!

  23. TOfan says:

    🙂

    And on FB:
    Naima Adedapo

    Best pop up songwriting session EVER. Out of a conversation about the seasons in North America versus South America! Lol. Casey Abrams David Archuleta #TheEarthIsOnATilt #GoodTimes #ILoveWriting

  24. Anonymous says:

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  25. roxfox says:

    Excellent points..you say it all so well! That night I was DMing (this is now a verb) with another fan that I hope he is careful reading comments. I can see what a trap that would be. Even though he has some loving genuine fans and it’s much too fun to tweet him. I did run across a hair tweet *eep of mine (in response to the record player pic), but was light-hearted and it actually was sent to you & D so I’m sure you filtered it 😉

  26. oliveoil says:

    Tofan, once again you have managed to cut through the dross and exposed the light . I am a fan of David , his voice, and his music. I really don’t know why I am such a huge fan, but it must have a lot more to do with ME than who David is or is not. I just have found him to be a fascinating person, and love following his career. He owes me absolutely nothing. I follow him for my own enjoyment . My only hope is that he continues to grow and put out more music for us to enjoy. If I don’t enjoy it anymore then I suppose I would move on. I don’t tweet, instagram, or facebook. Even so, I spend a lot of time online and often feel like I am trading productivity and real life for cyberspace. David is trying to create music that is honest and expresses his real feelings. Being on social media is not going to help him do that. I’m really glad that David is facing up to the truth of how he functions best in this crazy world we live in. I appreciate his tweets and blogs because they carry a lot of good advice for me as well. Thanks again Tofan, From one crazy fan to another.haha

  27. The social media has allowed for difficult times even horrendous times for some people of this world. People who care about David and have his respect and his time could probably help him to better understand the times. The times are not so good and everyone is affected by social media sometimes in a very negative way. Stars repeatedly say in interviews how they ignore the media because of all the fabrication and move on. The media has stars getting divorced shortly after they were married.

    It would take one knowledgeable and compassionate person to meet with him and be an effective mentor. I don’t think that our pleadings or his on line requests will be enough but that is just a guess looking at the times we live in.

    SB

  28. refnaf says:

    What a great post to re-read!!! So well said TOfan Thank you!!
    Every single point is bang on IMO
    Love this too…”I doubt David goes near fansites with a 10-foot-pole but if he does … STOP READING NOW AND NEVER COME BACK! We need to hear what you have to say — in music obviously, on Twitter, in vlogs, Instagram, whatever you like — yes, it is part of your “job” … but, trust me, you do not need to hear what we have to say”

    I like the post mission David… he seems to me to have a good grasp on what he needs to do…. and he sees life as a journey, which I think is a great thing to have learned by the age of 24!!
    He loves life, and learning and music!! That’s enough, lol, he does not need to love me!!

    Great to see post from folks we don’t see too often>> And happy birthday Kizzi and Happy and Bluebarsa!!!

  29. marin says:

    I like the post mission David as well. He does seem more real to me, not so “everything’s a picnic” you know? If he is being so brutally honest in these blogs, these songs he’s writing should be more raw too. I’ve always liked the feistier David songs (Works for Me and Stomping the Roses) so if he lets some of this new straight-talk loose for this new music, I’m in! 🙂

  30. Anonymous says:

    🙂

  31. peppertara says:

    Really looking forward to what is in store! Do love re-reading this post TOfan, so spot on and I do llike the post mission David too, so glad he can be so honest and real with himself and with us. R-E-S-P-E-C-T
    Gee, am so looking forward to that new Spanish song and a video will be great. 🙂

  32. missbianca says:

    This word-perfect post proves it is more relevant than ever. I still stand by you 100%. Although I think David was also having social media trouble because of wanting updates on the folks he followed, especially on Instagram.
    Another big squishy hug to you, Deb, for your keen insight delivered with just the right amount of humor and sass! {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}

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