The crack snoopy snoops at SAz have hacked into Edward Snowdon’s private stash of documents and discovered *gasp* script leaks for the new David Archuleta RootsTech video*.
Here’s an excerpt:
[EXT., COSTA RICAN BEACH, HIGH NOON]
The camera zooms out to reveal a picturesque coastline rivalling the beach where Anya slapped Josh Bradley … and, perhaps more memorably, where Josh hauled off and punched an extra.
As the waves lap against the shore on a pristine stretch of powdery sand, we see Daveeed (who looks just like David Archuleta) fearlessly stroll toward the surf. We know he is fearless because he dares to wear white pants after Labour Day.
A guitar strums nearby as Daveeed thinks back to his ancestors, the proud yet humble Archangelo family. The shining star of the family, named Eduardo, was a shy fellow who hated to be the centre of attention despite his angelic voice. It was a cross he was resigned to bear because he knew his singing brought joy to his introverted neighbour Maria.
Maria was a real introvert … not one of those “oh I’ll just jump on the introvert bandwagon” types.
Eduardo knew his singing brought Maria joy because she told him so in the 1,218680 letters she’d written to him… even though she lived next door.
A slow dissolve takes us back to olden days… a simpler time before social media became an evil scourge that took over your life… except for those times you could use it to promote special projects that took over other people’s lives.
A time when you didn’t just see someone with a guitar, you actually heard them play it.
[INTERIOR, VILLAGE HUT, DUSK]
Eduardo’s family gathers to hear big news, exciting news. Eduardo is marrying Marisol, the village girl he had a crush on once and is a little too not over ever since he touched her hand because there’s just something about love… plus he’s desperate to find his kind of perfect.
An extreme closeup of Eduardo’s face reveal’s a single tear of joy trembling on his cheek as he shares his happy news.
[EXT., MOUNTAINSIDE, DAY]
Cut to a thundering waterfall that symbolizes the intensity of Eduardo’s emotions.
Daveeed (again, who looks just like David Archuleta except his hair is gone) belts out a song so full of passion and power that the waterfall rushes faster and threatens to wash him off the edge of the cliff he’s on. His red safety pants save him, however, as they have magical powers to hypnotize and mesmerize… even waterfalls.
[INT., VILLAGE HUT, DUSK]
Extreme close up on Eduardo in his suspendered pantaloons — not white, because he is not so fearless as Daveeed. Eduardo has been saving the best news for last. After the wedding, he’ll be whisking Marisol into a time machine so they can attend the RootsTech genealogy conference in Salt Lake City and meet his present-day relatives, including Daveeed.
Eduardo is a little nervous about the whole thing because Daveeed will be in the middle of a signing and pretending to enjoy it. But of course he will be happy to see his relative from another time and land — does he disregard contact with time-travellers? No! Of course not!
[INT., SALT LAKE CITY, NIGHT]
Cut to 2015 where past and present are united. Daveeed embraces his ancestor and asks if he’ll be staying for dinner. “If you’ll be there, then I suppose we will see each other then,” says Eduardo, yawning.
Across the generations, some things never change.
And they all lived Spanishly ever after.