Expert art historian* analyzes @DavidArchie painting

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From Da Vinci to Caravaggio, all great artists hide visual clues to deeper meanings within their best work. Here, the turkey, cat and classic squiggly pig all scream one thing. “A turkey, hamย club sandwich would be purrr-fect right about now.”

All expressions of creativity produced by an artist speak volumes about their innermost longings, their view of the universe and the extent to which they were bored that day.

So here is a careful examination and analysis of David’s latest creative endeavour, as analyzed by a very expert and yet amateur art historian*.

1. Blue signifies he’s feeling blue. Or the blue paintย was on sale.

2. The use of white space indicates the wide open vistas of creativity he’s currently experiencing. Or that he wanted to make it a blue sky but then realized, d’oh.

3. The black outline clearly means he does prefer brunettes to blondes.

4. The red paint is untouched. As is Canadian soil for any concerts. And our flag is red and white. Am I reading too much into this? I think not.

5. The mystery animal stares straight ahead at the viewer, daring us to mock him for his awkward ears or snout with no nostrils. Does the creature not know by now that we love his awkwardness and, well, snout? Sheesh.

6. Each brushstroke is vertical, self-assured, and well within the lines. Symbolizing an aversion to the name Constantine.

7. The composition is balanced and symmetrical, sending a message that order may be maintained so long as no rogue videos of Numb pop up on YouTube because if they do, those involved will be wrapped in bacon and thrown into a cage with a real-life version of this rabid blue beast, known as The Archulator, who dwells in the deep, dark, ancient forests of upper Slovenia.

You can also clearly tell from this painting who David plans to vote for in the upcoming U.S. election and his very insightful take on climate change, but since it’s so obvious, there’s no need to spell it out.

What do you guys think? Next album cover?

*aka, me.


well, well, well ๐Ÿ™‚ she be packin’ up those ruby slippers, uh, I mean yellow shoes ๐Ÿ™‚



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19 Responses to Expert art historian* analyzes @DavidArchie painting

  1. Spirit says:

    Another hysterical post!!!! Love your sense of Archuhumor, TOfan! ๐Ÿ˜„

  2. refnaf says:

    Oh gosh you make me smile TOFan!
    Love your art insights!
    Point #4 is very on point, eh!
    Perhaps the real story is told by the squiggly pig hiding on the palett?
    What is your interpretation of that!??

    • TOfan says:

      acckk, just added that… my non-existent expert art historian salary does not cover eye glasses! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • missbianca says:

      Superb clue-spotting, Ref! I had not seen that before visiting here. The trio of doodles means that paper plate would have been worth a small fortune on ebay. But alas…

      Next time I get David’s autograph I’m going to ask him to draw a cat for me. His doodled animals just fill my heart.

  3. oliveoil says:

    Tofan,your insights are truly bordering on genius !! Point 7 is a revelation. The thought of being wrapped in bacon more than made up for the troubling mention of C… . tine in point 6 ๐Ÿ™‚ This was hilarious !!!

  4. Anonymous says:

    #3 I KNEW IT! He thought he could distract us with all that grey hair mambo jambo ๐Ÿ˜œ

    #4 Noooo! Say it isn’t so! Maybe he’s saving all the red for his next masterpiece of a patriotic Canadian moose ๐Ÿ‘

    โค๐Ÿ’›โค all of these deep artsy fartsy interpretations. ๐Ÿ˜…

  5. TOfan says:

    Added some interesting news to the end of the post. ๐Ÿ™‚

    PLUS: Longer Beautiful vid… AND IT’S AN APRIL MIRACLE, SCROLLING LADY PUTS DOWN HER PHONE!!! (I think he’s actually pointing at her when he sings “don’t YOU bring me down todaaaaay” ๐Ÿ™‚ )

  6. Hysterical as usual! Please pinky swear you will never stop writing these amazing insights into David’s shenanigans. Interesting that Gracie is moving to Nashville. And is David wearing camo shorts? I noticed those but didn’t notice the squiggly pig, turkey, and cat. What does that say about me? I don’t want to know. ๐Ÿ˜‰ PS – I love David’s, I mean the Archulator’s snout.

  7. kimak says:

    lol he WAS pointing at her!

    not sure if it is only me but dang David is getting better how is that possible!?

  8. TOfan says:

    And tweet of the day goes to the lovely & amazing Tina! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚


  9. peppertara says:

    Thanks for this funny, wonderful post TOfan! The “careful examination and analysis of Davidโ€™s latest creative endeavour” is hilarious. Thanks for the laughter and thanks for all the updates here,
    Your creative, witty self is so appreciated!

  10. Mary Dee says:

    You are seriously my favorite person right now!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ My biggest laugh of the week so far. I thank God for your genius. And, yes, point 7 is on point, though I will confess to framing that very personal YouTube email from DA man himself for going rogue over NUMB. #braggingrights HAAA!!!

  11. TOfan says:

    aww thanks, pepp & Mary Dee! Every time you guys leave a comment, a snow angel gets its snow wings, which would’ve melted by now, but you get the gist ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also, some great pictures of David in action here, almost as good as Shelley’s! LOL (Just kidding, Bryan. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

    And love this bit:
    “And there were a few times during this concert of David Archuletaโ€™s, that screaming girls near me about burst my eardrums as theyโ€™d suddenly scream out at the top of their lungs because of something David would say or do. It was quite the show, and I love the colors, the lighting, and expression in these images and wanted to share them with you.”

  12. missbianca says:

    This post is as good as David’s recent singing. Nuf said.

    I think the Archulator is a species of badger.

  13. missbianca says:

    And re: Gracie’s red and white polka dot dress, does she moonlight as Minnie Mouse?

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