Theatre of the Absurd: One @DavidArchie fan’s story

I originally posted this after the David/Demi tour and when I came across it in the dusty archives I was surprised how much of it still applied… although “absurd” has morphed into “bemused acceptance,” for me at least, lol.

How about you guys??


DemiLovatoPoster-246x300I think it was the email from the Demi Lovato fan club that did it.“Hey, Demi Lovato fan!” it started innocently enough. “We wanted to let you know your fan club welcome packages have been ordered! They will include a Demi poster, exclusive fan club laminate and mirror compact… be sure to check your mailbox over the next few weeks.”Gulp. Mailbox? Next few weeks? I pictured my husband intercepting my “welcome package” … the mirror compact crashing to the floor dooming me to seven years bad luck – or worse, seven more years in her fan club.

That’s when the light bulb went off.

When the sheer absurdity of my life as a David Archuleta fan hit me in the head harder than a beach ball kicked by you-know-who.

I’d completely forgotten about the stupid membership. I’d bought it back in the spring, desperate to gain access to concert presale tickets — tickets to a show hundreds of miles away. Tickets for myself and three friends — friends I’d met on the Internet.

But the absurdity didn’t end there. Oh no. When the concert was cancelled (sorry, “postponed”), for a moment I forgot that the average concert goer attends shows in their own hometown, making it no big deal if the date is rescheduled. For me, it was a big deal. Too big. So for that moment, I wailed and flailed like these kids.

I mean, doesn’t everyone take vacation days and make elaborate travel plans to faraway cities to hear an 18-year-old sing a handful of songs? “How could this happen?!?” I screamed to no one in particular. “What is wrong with you people?!?”

But once the shock and crushing disappointment abated (who am I kidding, I’m still disappointed), I had to laugh at myself – and at the year or so of absurdities I’d been racking up in this, my first experience with extreme fandom.

Please allow me to share a few highlights:

Absurd scenario #1: Spotting a vest in a men’s store window and walking in to check it out because it would look great on a kid who doesn’t know me from Adam Lambert. The sales guy asks if he can help me find anything. My sanity, maybe?

mozart-arias-cecilia-bartoli-daniel-barenboim-cd-cover-artFlo_Rida_-_Right_Round_Official_CoverAbsurd scenario #2: Blowing off a chance to attend a rare Toronto performance by renowned soprano Cecilia Bartoli. Why? To rush to Buffalo, of course, for the Kissmas Bash, also featuring Flo-Rida.

Absurd Scenario #3: At the office, grabbing my wallet out of my purse and inadvertently yanking out my VIP lanyard thingie, with David’s face emblazoned on one side…. Who needs that raise anyway?

Absurd Scenario #4: Not having a clue what many of my friends or family were up to yesterday, but knowing David saw yellow hills set against a blue sky.

Absurd Scenario #5: Trying to convey to a pal why I’d planned to go to more than one show. “So each one has different songs?” she asks, struggling to make sense of the absurdity. How do I explain that the songs are almost irrelevant – it’s that Voice, it’s just David. And yet, that alone sounds absurd.

But then my friends and I finally get to the one show left of our tattered road trip. And David starts to sing. And everything makes sense again.

It’s a VIP. The song is I’ll Be. He holds the “I” so strong and true, if I could climb inside that note and live there, I would.

I well with love that spills from my eyes. Nothing absurd about that. Nothing at all.

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I’ll be captivated
I’ll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I’ll be your crying shoulder
I’ll be love’s suicide
and I’ll be better when I’m older
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life

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24 Responses to Theatre of the Absurd: One @DavidArchie fan’s story

  1. Haroldcpim says:

    Don’t worry your not alone absurdity # 5 can’t wait until 2014 when it starts all over!!!

  2. I was greatly enjoying reliving some of my own absurd life experiences until “I well with love that spills from my eyes”. Sniff. Thanks for making me cry (again) first thing in the morning. I’m so glad I’m not alone in that.

  3. amb4da says:

    “I’ll be…the greatest fan of your life…” maybe that says it all.
    We just can’t help it. And though everyone we know is “confused” by our behavior…no one is more bemused at ourselves than we David fans!
    TOfan…this one was so worth the repost…cracked me up second time around too…LMHO…”who needs that raise anyway?”, “..also featuring Flo-Rida!!…right?!” The gift for the kid who “doesn’t know me from Adam Lambert!”..haha. And we can all still relate. Some “sanity” in numbers?
    But it was this: “It’s a VIP. The song is I’ll Be. He holds the “I” so strong and true, if I could climb inside that note and live there, I would.”…I most related to today.
    I recently said, when I leave this world, hopefully at a ripe old age…I want my spirit to come back and live in David’s hums and runs…just floating along in a thing of beauty for the rest of time.
    I can only admit that here. 😉

  4. Loved reading your old post again! Sooooo funny!! I had one of “those” moments recently.

    My hubby’s cousin was over and I wanted to show her a couple of “Live From Daryl’s House” videos that I had “favorited” on my YouTube account. We have one of those thing-a-ma-jigs that allows us to access and watch anything in my YouTube account on our big screen TV.

    As I started to scroll through my YouTube “favorites” I realized that I forgot that 90% of the videos I have are of David! Nooooooo!!!!! BUSTED!!!! 😯

    I FREAKED and kept jabbing at the “forward” button as all the David videos kept zipping by!! I must have looked like some kind of insane video game player trying to win a battle or something! It was David here, David there, DAVID, DAVID EVERYWHERE!!!! I was at DEFCON 2 while I kept stabbing at the controller! My heart was racing and I started to perspire and then his cousin turns to me and says, “That David Archuleta is such a cutie patootie and MAN can he sing!”

    😎 Phew!!!!

    Absurd? Nope, not at all. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!) 😆

  5. peppertara says:

    OMG TOfan, this is so funny. Yes, I’ve been in that “Theatre of the Absurd”. I went through a similar thing so I could order the pre-sale tickets to that concert to see David. I’ll never forget the day I received the Demi fanclub knicknacks and the humongous poster in the mail (which I didn’t realize they were sending to me). When I received them I actually sat there by myself and laughed at the humour in it all (not because of Demi, who I’m sure thrilled all of her young fans with those goodies) but because of myself (and my age) and what I would do to get a good seat to a DA concert, haha.
    Was worth it though….. I remember how thrilled I was to be going to my first DA concert and VIP and held those concert tickets in my hand like diamonds (my age disappeared at that point).
    This post really struck home with me and made me LOL.
    ““absurd” has morphed into “bemused acceptance” A very good way to put it!
    Love @jonerz story too, haha. All for a good cause.

  6. refnaf says:

    Ohhhh this is so good !!! I have def moved on to bemused acceptance…. My David devotion is the new normal even for my family!!!! This is absurd>>> my younger daughter became engaged this past May and my initial thought was ” ok, this wedding needs to be early in the spring just in case you know who has a one off concert or SOMETHING in the summer!!!! Is that CRAZY??? Even more absurd is that when I mentioned this to daughter she UNDERSTOOD!!! Lol

  7. davidarchiefan4life says:

    Thank you for this post and everyone’s wonderful comments!

    And had not seen that video of I’ll Be before, what a gem! And his smile at 1:35-36, wow, who was he singing to there, I wonder? 🙂

  8. trace says:

    My pre-David life had taken on too many absurdities already – but, as if they were not enough, David filled it with more absurdities

    When he came to KL for the Sunway Showcase in 2008, I made a point to turn up at the gates (closed and locked) at 8 freakin’ am (not exaggerating) when the Show was not supposed to start until 4 pm, and the Pass was already sitting securely in my pocket together with my packed breakfast! Absurdity much?!
    Nevermind, just bring it on, David! I crave for absurdities in my life!

    Thank you for re-posting this TOfan. It sent me laughing all over again! 😀

  9. Utahmom says:

    This was so much fun to read again! Jonerz’ story reminded me about something that happened just a few days ago. Customers often show me photos on their phones. One was searching for a picture and I caught a glimpse of a picture file with David’s face emblazoned on it. Had to smile at that–you never know who might be a David fan.

  10. roxfox says:

    Gosh I would of hated to be the next high-school act after that. You are right Deb, when
    he sings it just makes everything make sense, that all is right in the world again.

    Your funny ‘life as a David fan’ moments reminded me of my several. One of my favs is one weekend I was part of a group who was in charge of overseeing a small church event in our town congregation. Quandary was I also had Real soccer/David performing tickets that conflicted. Knowing that those I served with were fully capable of handling things, I proclaimed I would be out of town. All was well.

    The following Monday, we attended a little neighborhood barbeque. In attendance was our Bishop, or leader of our congregation. He noted my absence at the church event and politely inquired if I did anything fun while away. At this point, he knew a tiny chunk of my obsession. I full out confessed where I was, and he just chuckled and asked more about it. I told him I was not expecting to meet David for the first time there, but a dear fellow fan offered an extra pass to do so. I don’t even want to think what I looked like when David sang a phrase of Roxanne when he shook my hand, or what I looked like as I retold those seconds lol.

    Bishop teased me about really meeting him, since he watched AI that season. So later I emailed him the group picture with the titled ‘Busted’ as proof haha! He replied that he was so delighted that he put it as his wallpaper on his computer at work! I didn’t believe him until his wife confirmed this. Got a big laugh out of this. When David left for his mission, he stopped me in church and asked me how I was doing with a grin on his face. I almost requested charity meals…missed my chance 😉 Same fellow was later in our garden giving us advice on our rhubarb plant because he LOVES rhubarb. Then he says to me, ‘This is my David Archuleta.’ bwahahaha

    • TOfan says:

      That settles it, I’m changing my name to Michelle… or Alison… or Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds 😆

      • roxfox says:

        Yes any name that doesn’t have a song about a hooker is a good idea lol. When I met Michael Johns he sang a whole verse AND chorus, so take that Archie :p ha

  11. Archugeezer says:

    TOfan, really enjoyed reading this again.

    @Jonerz’ story is fall-down funny, and I love Roxanne’s tale. 🙂 I can relate and will share. ‘Tis long, so bear with me, as this is akin to a confession.

    I think it was sometime in 2010 when I did a short PowerPoint presentation before our entire buying group, most of whom were acquaintances, but also successful business owners. This was during our annual buyer’s market in Las Vegas. The fact that they would ask me to present was a big deal (to me), and I spent hours making sure everything was just right. There was another presentation prior to mine, so I had to set up quickly following, no doubt my undoing.

    I planned to first give a brief introduction and distribute some necessary information; so I chose an appropriate focus slide to put on the screen while I got that part out of the way (my lame idea of business ambiance I suppose.) I plugged in the computer, clicked the file on my desktop and then began to talk while I handed out papers. It was several seconds (maybe a million) before I looked at the screen, and there he was–David Archuleta, in all his glory and bigger than life. I was halfway around the room by then and had to fight the urge to leap 5 tables in a single bound.

    Oddly, nobody said a word, although everyone was looking. I did a nonchalant–albeit hasty–walk back to the computer, thinking I had escaped humiliation. I clicked on the proper file, handed out the rest of the papers; and then, just as I began to move through the PowerPoint, someone piped up and asked, “Does this mean we’re not going to get any singing?”

    Laughter ensued. Lots of it.

    • missbianca says:

      Laughter ensuing here, too! ROFL!

    • TOfan says:

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ohmyheck dyinggggg here! How on earth did you keep your cool long enough to do a “nonchalant–albeit hasty–walk back to the computer”??? You are officially my hero! 😆 😆 😆

    • roxfox says:

      Loved yours too Geez! I can’t help but think how excited those participants must have been that he was going to be part of your presentation! The letdown! He is your fair state’s honorary spud by now, right?

  12. bleubird19 says:

    OMJosh … finally got over to read this and I’m crying with laughter … at the original blog and these comments. All of this just when I finally had accepted that my family and friends have long ago “busted” me and I’m used to the teasing and I’ve become so much braver with my ODD. This brought it all back, but now I can laugh. Thanks, all of you … this just makes my day! 😀

  13. amb4da says:

    Glad this thread is still up (loving all these “confessions from the Theater of the Absurd”)…when JUST today…I had one of those “DA moments”, if not quite absurd, one that I know many of you have experienced. I’m out shopping, browsing in housewares, the store’s music track softly playing in the background. The songs change, I mindlessly hear this heavenly breathy Voice, to which I suddenly, just as mindlessly find myself singing “You blame yourself everyday, you do it again…” WAIT! They’re playing SBL!! That’s David! A soft, high-pitched “Squeee!” escapes my ear to ear grin, before I have the chance to look around to make sure I really AM alone in the aisle. In the category of “little things mean so much to the DA fan”….I’m now thrilled because, 3 yrs. after the fact, this is my first time (much to my chagrin) hearing SBL, commercially in any way, (never heard it on the radio, so a store track 3 years later makes me happy.) Of course I stayed in that area of the store until the song finished…I mean, DA respect 101! 🙂
    ***** On another note I had just recalled also today, something I posted somewhere a while ago…when I had called Dell Product Support on my old laptop, and as the overseas rep “took control” of my computer, as they do over the phone…”click, click, click”…I hear him say to me, “David Archuleta?”…ME: Uh-m, oh… YES! Guessing he could now see my screen saver, (a lovely still shot of David singing Long and Winding Road from Idol days.) (Was I red? What else could he see?!) Luckily the rep was in the Phillipines!…so of course he easily chatted about “Season 7 of the Davids” and how good David Archuleta was. Phew! My friends had all but locked me up by then, but that day I found a “kindred spirit” while being busted by a random computer rep!

    • TOfan says:

      LOLOL what awesome luck to have a rep in the Philippines!! My closest call lately was when I was having dinner at my dad’s (who loves to tease me about David) and when he started asking about D., I had to explain to my dad’s new lady friend who he was asking about. She blurted out, “Oooo, I LOVED him on American Idol, he should have WON!!!” Well, that certainly shut my dad up, lol.

      And me too, I’m loving hearing everyone’s stories and you’re right, we def. all have at least one! 😆

  14. amb4da says:

    omg Archugeezer, just read your story and ROTFL!!…”and then, just as I began to move through the PowerPoint, someone piped up and asked, “Does this mean we’re not going to get any singing?” LOL…I love that!
    This thread makes me want to hear a story from every DA fan around the planet…because I know everyone has at least ONE of these gems to tell.

  15. missbianca says:

    Deb, your site is a hug when we need one!

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