Have you changed as a @DavidArchie fan?

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This has nothing to do with David, I just thought it was cool. (Credit: Tim Manley / click 4 source.)

It just struck me today how much I’ve changed as a David Archuleta fan over the last five years.

I started out taking it all so very seriously. Back then I remember being fiercely protective of David, ranting on Entertainment Weekly and other pop culture sites in response to anyone’s criticism of D. (I believe I used the phrase “cyber-bullying” at one point.)

Then I discovered fan sites, where I loved nothing more than to spout my conspiracy theories about the evil vortex that is American Idol (theories I still hold btw, I just spout them less often).

And then, debating and speculating ad nauseum about David’s career path and choices became like going to the gym for me. Cardio, of course.

When I tried to convince a fan-friend to join in on these discussions, she said: “But that would take the joy out of my David experience.”

At first, I didn’t understand what she was talking about. Then I noticed that reading and responding to comments late at night left me tossing and turning and waking up in a cold sweat. I was so invested. Not just in David but in being a fan of David. It struck me that I’d been going around and around in circles, covering the same tired ground.

I started to wonder what it would be like to do what my friend was doing — focusing on the joy of the David experience. And, come on, Announcement notwithstanding, there is a LOT of joy to be had, thanks to David.

So much great music. Great friends. Lots of laughs. Fun twitter “cocktail parties.” Amazingly creative stuff on Tumblr. Did I mention the great music?

I started looking at what we have now, not wishing it was something else. Started letting go of expectation and entitlement. Oh, I do backslide from time to time. Feel jealous that another young newbie is getting the acclaim I know right well David deserves. But then I try to take a deep breath and let it go. Find my way back to the joy. It’s a good place.

But that’s just me. How about you guys? Do you think you’ve changed as a fan?

P.S.

Adding this because SKATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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22 Responses to Have you changed as a @DavidArchie fan?

  1. betsy says:

    I can’t believe you wrote about this. I was JUST thinking about this the other day. How much I’ve changed as a fan. How I wish I could delete 90% of the things I’ve said online. But it changed a LONG time ago, for me. (maybe when I started seeing other people calling a 14 yr old boy horrible names. You don’t have to be a fan of someone to feel icky about that)
    Most of all, if I want to discuss something with a fan friend, or a friend who is an ex fan, it’s all done privately. Who needs the drama.
    Also, I just opt out of discussions regarding his career path, management. I guess I can’t do that for 5 years. What is, is.
    Deb, I never really thought it was a conspiracy until I started reading about how other fans felt. How naive I was, and at my age lol. Then I went from agreeing with most people about everything, to disagreeing with some. But mostly never engaging a soul about it. Leaving it be.
    It is a good place. I agree. My blood pressure is still low. 🙂
    p.s. I’m glad you ranted to EW, they deserved it and I never went there.

  2. searay says:

    You said it perfectly, as usual. I have regrets-a-plenty, and I’m definitely in a healthier place now.

  3. newangel2 says:

    Hear, hear! I would go back and change quite a few things (mostly silliness on my part and some “too invested mistakes”) but one thing I’m happier for is I no longer read the comments on fan sites (except this one!) and haven’t for years. I don’t even visit fan sites except for yours and Rhiminee’s addictive tumblr, except for rare occasions. I don’t need the drama, speculation and unkindness, especially when it’s directed toward a guy who is no-drama and the kindest person I “know”, his/my faith, or other fans. It’s made things so much simpler. I’ve realized you can’t pick fights or win with people who just don’t “get” him even if they claim to be his fans. I’m a ruminator and I know if I go there I’ll just go over and over and over that junk in my head.

    I want to laugh and rejoice and be happy about what an amazing person and talent singer we’re on this crazy ride with!

    But yeah, I still believe in music business conspiracy theories;)

  4. Archugeezer says:

    Oh, boy! Would I love to revisit my past fan psychosis with a giant delete button.

    Oddly enough, the blogs in David’s absence have managed to change me as a fan. Never would I have imagined the drama, the infighting, the disrespect, and the breadth of must-do career advice thrown David’s way, to say nothing of the personal attacks regarding his choice to serve a mission. I mean, this is David Archuleta—one-of-a-kind, super talented, humble, totally nonjudgmental David Archuleta. Who do we…Who do we… Who do we think we are? Crazy people.

    The last five or six weeks have been wretched for me, for a number of personal reasons; but David’s music still has that magical, calming, reassuring effect. Apparently my fan status is still intact. During times like this, I tend to count the days until D’s return, and I read David blogs everywhere. However, it is now easy to recognize the pettiness for what it is. I sometimes even laugh out loud at the inexplicability of it all and chalk it up to the many ways we miss David Archuleta. Usually I just gravitate toward blogs that show real appreciation to him by offering unconditional support and lots of fun. (SnowAngelz holds a special place in my heart.)

    OK, I’m rambling. Sorry. I could have saved y’all some time by simply expressing my opinion with a quote from Brynn’s post: “I want to laugh and rejoice and be happy about what an amazing person and talented singer we’re on this crazy ride with!”

  5. davidarchiefan4life says:

    I have changed. I don’t read comments either, especially on utube videos. And I don’t vote in polls like I used to. I guess now I’m okay with letting David worry about his career, it was making me crazy at one point that no one out there could see/hear what I could plainly see/hear. I’ve also stopped trying to “convert” everyone I know into being a fan. Letting go feels lighter, I will tell you that. Of course I could change right back to the way I was as soon as he steps off that plane. 🙂

  6. Kizzi says:

    Hmmm…I was really involved. I never got involved as a fan prior and no internet networking for sure. I definitely got engaged in some very strange dialogues and relationships. I felt like I needed to take up the cause to defend and deflect all the craziness. I had to make myself stop reading and responding to certain websites. Just because someone writes something doesn’t mean its true. The anonymity factor on the internet allows people to say most anything, things they wouldn’t say in real life face-to-face. Took me a while to realize that. 😦

    Mostly I think a lot of the meanness, outlandish comments, etc. that was, continues and will, no doubt, be made in the future is a reflection of the person making the comment. Made me rethink the concept of “free speech.”

    So I am drama free now, *YES*, and a lot of that b/c David went on his mission, and loving SAz and no need to read any other fan site for now. When David returns to music I will follow his career just as joyfully as before with the added element of having absorbed big doses of fan-internet wising-up medicine, inoculating me, hopefully, from going down those crazy roads in the future when David resumes his career.

  7. refnaf says:

    “And then, debating and speculating ad nauseum about David’s career path and choices became like going to the gym for me. Cardio, of course.” LOL this is very funny and true!!
    Great post Tofan! Being a fan of anyone was sooo new to me and I became totally immersed in every comment about David at every source!! I had no idea how much I could get wrapped up and stressed by everyone’s opinions! I now limit myself to commenting on (((Snowangelzz))) and twitter and viewing a few other sites on occasion…. Much more manageable!! I am very thankful for all the tech things the journey taught me. YOUTUBE was totally new to me and I entered many vortexes and watched every song on every tour and every bus fan meeting>I actually love to go back to some of those regularly, But I have let go of defending him, worrying about him, and letting other fans get me down. What newangel says WFM “I want to laugh and rejoice and be happy about what an amazing person and talent singer we’re on this crazy ride with!”
    I adore all the fan friends I have made and will enjoy reconnecting with all the peeps who are out there when a tour becomes reality…… and the excitement may kill me, lol!

    I will be here when he gets back… and I will watch every vlog, buy every CD, and go to every show that I am able!!!
    I really believe David is in this for the long haul and in a few years we won’t remember this “dry” spell, but it will have been a big part of his life learning so it is ALL GOOD!
    ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

  8. tawna21 says:

    Changed?! Yes, to all that has been said above. It’s been interesting to observe myself change. One day, I just realized that the ‘need for everything David’ had relaxed. I found that I wasn’t listening to his music, searching the internet, and commenting on fan sites like before. Life had become much less complicated for me. I’ve found a couple of beautiful fan sites that I love to be a part of because of the good feelings that I take away from them. I no longer spend hours at YouTube day after day. And, I’ve found myself listening to David’s music with a much cleaner ear for the beauty that it brings to me. I’m not obsessed like before. Yet, like the rest of you, I will be here when 2014 rolls around, I will be at various concerts, I will buy every CD that he puts out, as well as anything that he may put in print. I will definitely watch for any acting that he does. Yeah, I’m still a fan, but a “changed for the better” (I love ‘Wicked’) one.

  9. missbianca says:

    With respect to my opinion of David, it is only higher than it began. Every time he’s done a tour he’s just that much better. What an artist!

    But do I feel the need to share his artistry to make new fans any more? Nope, I’ve “hit up” about everyone I know..

    Do I feel like voting on polls or defending him on obscure blogs. Nah. Not while he’s gone. Have I written him tons of postcards? Nope…mine all say the same thing anyway. “Hi. Thanks. Still waiting. Take care.”

    Do I feel the same towards David’s fans? Well, I still have many I love to pieces including some folks I can’t even find any more. Alas, though, I’ve been disgusted by trolls, bruised by ungrateful gift recipients, battered by folks who can not only read David’s mind but know what I ought to feel besides, and I have a few well-deserved regrets from incidents where I’ve lost my temper. I’ve had to dial back how much I care. I don’t do goodies any more, I don’t actively admin fan sites, and I retreat from posting and tweeting for days at a time. This is where I’ve changed the most and it makes sense since I’ve spent 1000 hours with fans for every minute with David (estimated).

  10. Anonymouse says:

    I believe I have changed as a fan. Mellowed. I do listen to his music a lot but other music too. And I hardly ever look at videos any more or search for stories and the like. Like Tawna said, “because of the good feelings that I take away” – that’s what I look for now, to make sure whatever I do as a fan feels good inside, feels right. I think watching the Asian fans (and the press too) helped me change. The way they love David unconditionally and take him as he is, demand nothing from him but shower him with love and appreciation. Even the interviewers seem so much kinder. They’ve set a wonderful example for me.

  11. RamblingDA says:

    Who would have thought at the time of the “announcement” that David going on a mission for two years was not only the best thing for him, but also for the fans. I sure know that stepping back from the fan drama, which unbelievably is still going on, has been so rewarding. Oh that ODD sure was cruel at times lol!

    Will always be a fan and can’t wait for those concerts and the road trips to start, not only to see David but also incredible friends made along the way. I’m very blessed to have other local drama free fans that I’ve shared this journey with…. yay, see you on the 5th!

    While I may not listen to his music or watch videos like I used to, I’m so ready for his career to resume (sometimes I actually think this will be the real start of his career). Who knows, maybe some salsa down the aisles… note to self, sign up for Salsa lessons. I’m so ready to enjoy it without all the angst associated with the past. It’s a much happier place to be.

    TOfan, I LOVE this site for your humour (spelling it the correct way just for you), honesty and support and also the positive and drama free commenters!

    Can’t wait to see you guys…. SOON! Yes, I said it and it actually seems realistic lol!

  12. tammi says:

    i’ve changed a lot. i’m more a fan of just david now i guess, not all the fan stuff. maybe david going away will help us all calm down and be more normal idk 🙂

    anybody else excited about kari’s tweet about tour dates? 🙂

  13. muldur says:

    Hi, all. I have changed as a fan in some ways. I gave up voting on polls because it was clear they were all about generating site hits and there was nothing to be gained for David by voting. I used to love doing that, though. I listen to his albums but prefer listening to audios from live performances. I don’t spend anywhere near the time I used to watching videos or on twitter. I do read a couple of fansites but don’t comment much. I have never been one to debate his career and management, etc, so that’s no different. I have tried hard to respect his wishes for privacy during his mission time and that makes me very accepting of lack of new information and new music and videos, blogs, etc. Hard to believe that but it’s mostly true. I do admit to be addicted to his Spanish O Holy Night from the devotional at Christmastime.

    My life has changed a lot in the past couple of years. I moved back to Maine, had a granddaughter, changed jobs, moved to a new place to live, am working my butt off at my job, joined a church, had a health issue or two, and some personal family issues to deal with. Honestly, I needed this time to not be so invested.

    But I still think the absolute world of David, for his beautiful voice, the kind of person he is, the way he has experienced his mission (from what we can observe, he seems very immersed and happy), and the many gifts he left behind for us. I miss so much being able to go to shows and hear him sing live. I feel like there will never be a time when I don’t care about him, when I don’t want to hear him sing. So that has not changed at all. I do feel very accepting of whatever he does, whatever kind of music, or career he chooses. It’s all his to live.

  14. desertrat says:

    I’d like to think I’ve mellowed over the past 5 years. I know I’m not the obsessed cyberstalker fan that I used to be; I no longer have to read every single internet mention of David, his family, his friends, etc. However, on those rare occasions when I hear one of his songs on the radio or in a public place, I get a warm feeling and start smiling to myself. It’s that moment when I realize the ODD never really left — perhaps it’s suppressed.

  15. peppertara says:

    Really enjoyed reading all of the comments here in response to your lovely post TOfan. I suppose as fans, most have changed somewhat or mellowed some…..evolving as David has been for the past five years. For me, I have grown in to an even older fan, haha and I would say a little less ‘obsessive’. Still love the guy and love his music but maybe this hiatus has given us a chance to focus on other areas of our lives a little more, I know for me it has.
    I am happy to just be a fan and I will always be supportive, even if I am not out there making a lot of noise about it. Whatever David has to offer from his incredible musical self will always be a joy for me, that I know for certain. Still proud to be a fan, that hasn’t changed. 🙂
    Oh….and Happy Birthday abanana77!
    p.s. Love David in the blue skates!

  16. abanana77 says:

    Hahahaha that banana birthday cake pic is priceless!!! 🙂 How the heck did you even find that??

  17. peppertara says:

    David’s fans are fabulous, all those twitter trends! Well, don’t know if Vancouver trended or not…maybe it would have if I was in on the twitter trending party, ha. Always seem to be out when these things are happening. Here’s mine:

    Vancouver Trends – Don’t Change
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    Soon David Archuleta Soon
    🙂

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