I’m so gangsta, I’m so thug….

Look all up in mah grill, I'm schmooove, yo.

Look all up in mah grill, I’m schmooove, yo.

Have you guys discovered gizoogle yet? It’s a spoof search engine where you can “translate” any web page into gangsta slang. For example, SAz is listed as: “A hood of Dizzy Archuleta hustlas from Canada n’ around tha ghetto.” …Accurate.

 

Screen shot 2013-08-16 at 11.01.03 PMScreen shot 2013-08-16 at 11.01.26 PMThis is part of David’s wikipedia page:

Early life

Archuleta started doin thangs up in Miami, Florida, ta Lupe Marie (née Mayorga), a salsa thug n’ dancer, n’ Jeff Archuleta, a jazz musical mofo. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy yo. His mutha is from Honduras n’ his wild lil’ daddy iz of Spanish�”Basque, Danish, Irish, German, n’ Iroquois descent. Dude speaks a lil bit of Spanish n’ aspires ta learn more. Archuleta has four siblings. His gang moved ta tha Sandy, Utah, suburb of Salt Lake City when da thug was six yo. Dude now lives up in Murray where he attended Murray High School. Dude be a gangbangin’ forma Boy Scout n’ be a gangmember of Da Church of Jizzy Christ of Latter-dizzle Saints.

Archuleta started rappin all up in tha age of six, inspired by a Les Misérablez vizzle. “That musical is what tha f*** started all of this,” da perved-out mutha holla’d. Dude started struttin publicly at age ten when he participated up in tha Utah Talent Competition, rappin “I Will Always Ludd Yo A$$” by Dolly Parton; he received a standin ovation n’ won tha Lil Pimp Division.

Archuleta is up in tha second year of a Mormon mission up in Downtown America, not just takin his a$$ outta tha U.S. yo, but placin his game on hold until his bangin return, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin’ bout chicken n’ gravy. That hasn’t stopped Dizzy from appearin on tha Bizzleboard charts, n’ you can put dat on yo’ toast. Most recently, his crazy-ass mixtape No Matter How tha f*** Far peaked at No. 23 on Top Independent Albums.  Az of February 2012, Archuleta has sold 1,108,000 mixtapes n’ 3,327,000 tracks up in tha United Hoods.

And on Twitter… I mean, Twizzle:

Dizzy Archuleta (DavidArchie) on Twizzle

All tha sickest bullshizzle from Dizzy Archuleta (@DavidArchie). I’m David. Y’all KNOW dat shizzle, mf! I like beatz. Drop dis like itz hot! Kind of Utah…

And who could forget these wise words from his wonderful book:

COS1Screen shot 2013-08-16 at 11.29.06 PM

Screen shot 2013-08-16 at 11.20.17 PM

Screen shot 2013-08-16 at 11.22.15 PMFO’SHIZZLE, check it out HERE (*def. language warning!*).

P.S.

I’m off to listen to “Dope Place,” “Things Is Gonna Git Better” and “What a Lil Pimp Is This.”

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7 Responses to I’m so gangsta, I’m so thug….

  1. betsy says:

    I’ve been gizoogling everything I can get my hands on for weeks now. I will never not laugh like a loon at David’s wiki page.
    (also, you can gizoogle articles about him. Prepare yourself. (the charice one, just saying) The language will bother some, not me)
    🙂
    Deb, thanks for bringing this here. loling forever.

  2. dangitdavid says:

    Bahaha….I’ve picture many times the person that David is promising to bring back but Gangsta-style David had never been one of them!!! And to be honest, I’d think I’d find that just down right sexy 😉 lolol!! Again, I’m in stitches reading your posts…this was just freaking hilarious!!! “All tha sickest bullshizzle”…..HAHAHAHA….that Twizzle description….best ever!!!!😂😂😂. Oh and….”that Musical is what tha f*** started all this” …..oh dear God I can’t breathe!! 😋😋. I gotta go check this gizoogle out!!! Snorting as I leave…..

  3. Archugeezer says:

    Ha! I knew that first album cover was a subliminal thug wish.

    Yo, D! Brang us some straight up legit G-rated rap. Or not.

    Sincerely,
    Shady Tater, a.k.a. Wobbly Hob-Nobba

  4. TOfan says:

    Off-topic, but the lovely Ms. Jonerz sent me this link and it gives me a new appreciation for Ms. McCurdy:
    http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2013/08/15/jennette-mccurdy-i-was-a-teenage-hashtag/

  5. peppertara says:

    Well I was not familiar with ‘gizoogle’, hilarious! Yes, Dizzy Archuleta….quite the guy, haha.
    This: “Dude started struttin publicly at age ten when he participated up in tha Utah Talent Competition, rappin “I Will Always Ludd Yo A$$” by Dolly Parton; he received a standin ovation n’ won tha Lil Pimp Division.” LOL.
    Have to read this again, all of it incredibly funny!
    “SAz is listed as: “A hood of Dizzy Archuleta hustlas from Canada n’ around tha ghetto”…Accurate.
    LOL again.

  6. tammi says:

    HAHAHAHA omg killing myself laughing! where did you find this?? and why so few comments this is hysterical LMBO

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