@DavidArchie family ties (not really)

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Break glass and use in case of emergency.

Break glass and use in case of emergency.

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A friend sent me this picture, aghast and astonished at how much it looks like David. From the neck up, of course.

No surprise at all, I said. It’s actually a picture of Fernando, David’s third cousin once removed and twice replaced, by marriage, on his mother’s side.

He grew up in a little shirt-optional fishing village outside Santiago protected by St. Buff, the patron saint of well-toned abs.

In fact, town bylaws prohibit the fastening of all shirt buttons. That’s why Fernando looks Β frantic in this picture. He’s about to be ticketed for a cover-up.

The resemblance is so startling, he’s mistaken for David anytime he wears a grandpa sweater or buys a crate of mangoes. He can no longer frequent Thai restaurants.

Lately, Fernando and David have been able to share family stories, and their love of music. Fernando doesn’t sing but he hums beautifully. This helps strengthen his diaphragm on such Christmas classics as Six-Pack-A-Pan,Β Chest Nuts Roasting on an Open Fire, and Little Ripped Drummer Boi.

Fernando’s father is from Honduras, his mother from Paris. He recently returned to his mom’s birthplace to enter a Speedo-sponsored tanning contest. David’s advice when he lost?

“Don’t give up ’cause you’re half-French.”

*hides for eternity*

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36 Responses to @DavidArchie family ties (not really)

  1. The hubby’s around and I think I’m suffocating from holding in my laughter. >.<

  2. ray says:

    tofan.your too much,don,t you ever give up this site

  3. betsy says:

    You gave me my first belly laugh of the day, badly needed.
    St Buff, I cannot.
    Little Ripped Drummer Boi, omg. As sung by whatshername, umm *googles* Avril Lavigne
    You are a genius, never stop.

  4. dangitdavid says:

    OMG!! I’ve just snorted reading this!! Trying not to fall off my chair laughing at work!! Geez Louise…where the heck do you come up with this stuff!! πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ :D. And that pic!!!! Couldn’t help myself…hit save immediately to preserve that on my phone until DNA testing has been done to prove that’s actually not David!! Seriously…are we really sure it’s not him caught by paparazzi on a private beach somewhere!! It looks just like him. Lol…I’m so distracted now I’ll be useless at work for the rest of the day! Okay…back to checking out that pic…have a good day all πŸ˜‰

  5. MT says:

    LOLOL You have outdone yourself with this post! You made my day. πŸ˜€

    These “Fernando doesn’t sing but he hums beautifully,” “third cousin once removed and twice replaced,” and “don’t give up cuz you’re half-French” had me ROFL. And … is that a wedding ring hanging around his neck? Wasn’t there a rumor about that recently? πŸ˜‰

  6. beloirti says:

    The first time I saw the term, “half-french”, I thought, “How rude!…” And this time there is a giggle in me that just won’t stop! TOfan! You are an unbelievable genius! I enjoy your “outside the box” impressions so very much. Thanks for sharing.

  7. Archugeezer says:

    The resemblance is… Uh, distracting. And St. Buff? ROFLOLOL. I need my own patron saint at this point.

    Inscrivez-moi Γ  la rΓ©union de famille.

  8. emmegirl14 says:

    This and the pic have left me speechless! rofl!

    (tofan, I would love to be able to go where you do, (I think, lol!)

  9. Haroldcpim says:

    Dear Deb
    It is a good thing I read this at home and not at work because I almost fell off my chair laughing. Your sense of humor is amazingly awesome . This post tops the cake. But each and every time you post you manage to out do yourself. Keep it up and never leave us . You are a rear treasure !

  10. πŸ™‚ Speechless!! Love your mind Tofan and love the pictures!!! David would definitely break the glass for the markers!!…….but not us πŸ™‚

  11. Christina Archuleta says:

    Is the man in that picture really David?!!?!?

  12. Anonymous says:

    LOLOLOL!!!!!

  13. djafan says:

    Tofan, Now that is one good photo shop job, I took a double take lol And your story is hilarious haha.

  14. sunny says:

    LOL!! The part about being mistaken for David when he wears a grandpa sweater and buys a crate of mangoes is hilarious!!

  15. refnaf says:

    “He grew up in a little shirt-optional fishing village outside Santiago protected by St. Buff, the patron saint of well-toned abs”

    TOfan, you are the funniest person in my world and in all of the Archuverse….
    We LOVE you !!!!

    • TOfan says:

      ((((ref))) you’re sweet but hardly, lol, this is a pretty funny Archuverse… I just have my own playground here, lol.

  16. tammi says:

    i bet it is david

    πŸ™‚

  17. Anonymous says:

    This is so hilarious, all of it! Can’t pick a fave part, did a double take for sure..at that photo, haha.
    Your incredible wit makes me think you should be writing a screenplay for David TOfan….maybe a romantic comedy. It could take place in that “little shirt-optional fishing village outside Santiago”
    πŸ™‚

  18. peppertara says:

    Ooops….anonymous is me, peppertara.

  19. Utahmom says:

    Uhmmm…so exactly where in Santiago is this fishing village? Purely academic question, of course…

  20. TOfan says:

    New post/thread!

    πŸ™‚

  21. Anastasha says:

    Is he really David Archuleta?

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