Here’s what I think really happened…
At Jive headquarters in New York City, the part-time assistant to the junior intern in charge of David’s album considers leaving the office. It’s nearing 6 p.m. and the day’s been a tough one. She’s frazzled and still queasy from post-traumatic motion sickness triggered by roller-coastering at Six Flags and ferris-wheeling at the Delta Fair in Memphis.
And her ever-growing To Do list isn’t helping:
1) Return Oprah’s call inviting David on the show.
2) Return the Nobel Committee’s call nominating David for The Peace Prize.
3) Restock coffee filters.
4) Book cross-Canada tour.
5) Blur the Sony logos from the SBL vid so it can be shown on MTV.
6) Update the DA.com site so that all the events are listed and link to a “buy tickets” page.
7) Return Z100’s calls requesting a live in-studio performance by David.
8) Remind Ryan Seacrest he promised to have David back on his radio show when the single was ready.
9 ) Deny Justin Bieber’s stylist’s request to “iconic-ize” David’s hair.
10) Send Jennette McCurdy two dozen roses … and a tree to plant.
11 ) Rent Time Machine to go back to the SBL debut date.
With so much to do, and so little time, she decides to prioritize by crossing all the items off her list except the last one — the Time Machine. One quick call to the rental company and they deliver a second-hand Time-Bender 680x (previously owned by Dick Clark).
After briefly reading the manual, the part-time assistant to the junior intern in charge of David’s album turns the ignition key and is zoomed backwards a couple of months. She erases all evidence of a debut album single, and while she’s at it, rewrites the ending of Lost to include a Kate-Jack, Sawyer-Juliet double wedding.
Back at Jive, it’s clocking-out time, so she sends a blast email off to the three Program Directors she feels a bond with, that states: “Please find attached 1st single from Ricky Archuletta’s Other Side of Upside Down — Escalator.”
As she shuts down her computer and leaves her executive broom closet for the day, she feels pleased at accomplishing a productive day’s work. “Sorry I’m late,” she tells her pet ferret as she comes in the door that evening. “But that is my absolute favourite song on the album, and I know it’s David’s too, so I have to give that extra push … now where are my motion-sickness meds?”
Now try to watch this without smiling … I dare ya. 🙂
And I’m posting this ‘cuz I’m a little too not over it.