The real story behind the @DavidArchie Ice Cream lockout saga (not really)

You may have felt a shift in the archtastic vortex Friday night when this startling event took place:

IceCreamTweet1

Our stealth investigative reporting team at SAz* uncovered the full story:

David: Gosh, I am craaaaaving ice cream right now, what do you have?

Bumblebee guy: Sorry sir, we don’t serve mustachioed hipsters.

David: Heh heh. *rips off cookie duster* This was just a joke for my fans. They keep wanting a hairier me. ha ha

Bumblebee guy: In that case we will serve you. But we are out of ice cream.

David: Out of ice cream??? Could you give me a moment…

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*David wipes his tears on his plaid handkerchief* Sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly… which is odd because I have Spock-like hearing and perfect pitch… could’ve sworn you said you had no ice cream.

Bumblebee guy: That is correct, sir. Perhaps if you loosened that top button it would improve your hearing.

David: I do not like your tone, dude. No ice cream? Seriously????

Bumblebee guy: Yes, when David Cook’s band was here they cleaned us out.
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Bumblebee guy: He did leave us this as a tip, though:
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David: What if I sang a few songs for you?… I got triple scoops after my Ethiopian gig… and hey, you just happen to have a piano right here…
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Bumblebee guy: Why, yes. That would be most pleasant. In that case, I can run home and pull out my private stock of Mango Surprise. And when you sing, we could take videos and post them on YouTube for your fans to enjoy.

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Bumblebee guy: But why not?

David: I’m waiting for the time to be right.

Bumblebee guy: You mean, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars?

.

2tumblr_m5j6sldozp1qlof70o2_250.

David: I’m sure you can understand that.

Bumblebee guy: No clue, sir.

Later that day….

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And they all lived rocky-roadily ever after.

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*Edward Snowden’s Utah cousin, Bubba.
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P.S.
Click pic (then click Instagram pic) for short vid shout-out!
Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 8.27.21 PMScreen shot 2014-08-17 at 8.27.28 PM
P.P.S. I love the 2-for-1 deal with D’s Instagrams/Tweets 😀
Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 8.36.13 PMInstagram
Screen shot 2014-08-17 at 8.32.26 PM

This entry was posted in Utter nonsense and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to The real story behind the @DavidArchie Ice Cream lockout saga (not really)

  1. oliveoil says:

    Funniest part for me…………maybe if you loosened that top button you could hear better . LOL

    • missbianca says:

      What, wait! What’s oliveoii doing up here? Well what she said.

      My top button is undone but I still can’t scroll (see below).

  2. Mandaberry says:

    Best yet!! What would we do without you?!?

  3. refnaf says:

    Oh gosh TOfan…. this is HILARIOUS….We would not survive without her Mandaberry!!

  4. Kizzi says:

    And they lived “rocky roadily” ever after. I love TOfanese. This is toooo funny.

    You are a master of parody. Love it! Your funny bone is gi-normous. Thanks for keeping the faith and the home fires burning. I love your style of smoke signals. 😀

  5. missbianca says:

    I’m still suffering from bronchitis, so no group hugs for me. But, yay! Deb posted!

  6. dangitdavid says:

    ROTFL!!! LOLOL…what everyone said!! 😀 :D. In stitches hahaha!! TOfanese is my new favorite language 🙂

  7. archugeezer says:

    Kizzy coined it–“TOfanese.” 🙂

    I have to be honest. This beats any entertainment here in Las Vegas. There was some unscheduled laughter during my meeting, but I couldn’t help it.

  8. peppertara says:

    “David: I’m waiting for the time to be right.”
    “Bumblebee guy: You mean, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars?”
    Sooo… laughed at this (and all of it)!
    It is the dawning of the Age of New David. 🙂
    Thanks again for keeping us going TOfan and for the tremendously funny blogs.

  9. TOfan says:

    methinks David is trying to tell us something, lol…

  10. Angelica says:

    This is one of the funniest things you’ve done. Ever. Love ya.

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