You may have felt a shift in the archtastic vortex Friday night when this startling event took place:
Our stealth investigative reporting team at SAz* uncovered the full story:
David: Gosh, I am craaaaaving ice cream right now, what do you have?
Bumblebee guy: Sorry sir, we don’t serve mustachioed hipsters.
David: Heh heh. *rips off cookie duster* This was just a joke for my fans. They keep wanting a hairier me. ha ha
Bumblebee guy: In that case we will serve you. But we are out of ice cream.
David: Out of ice cream??? Could you give me a moment…
*David wipes his tears on his plaid handkerchief* Sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly… which is odd because I have Spock-like hearing and perfect pitch… could’ve sworn you said you had no ice cream.
Bumblebee guy: That is correct, sir. Perhaps if you loosened that top button it would improve your hearing.
David: I do not like your tone, dude. No ice cream? Seriously????
Bumblebee guy: Yes, when David Cook’s band was here they cleaned us out.
Bumblebee guy: He did leave us this as a tip, though:
David: What if I sang a few songs for you?… I got triple scoops after my Ethiopian gig… and hey, you just happen to have a piano right here…
Bumblebee guy: Why, yes. That would be most pleasant. In that case, I can run home and pull out my private stock of Mango Surprise. And when you sing, we could take videos and post them on YouTube for your fans to enjoy.
Bumblebee guy: But why not?
David: I’m waiting for the time to be right.
Bumblebee guy: You mean, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars?
David: I’m sure you can understand that.
Bumblebee guy: No clue, sir.
Later that day….
— Bumblebee’s BBQ (@bumblebzBBQ) August 16, 2014
And they all lived rocky-roadily ever after.
*Edward Snowden’s Utah cousin, Bubba.
— Jessarae (@Jessarae) August 17, 2014