Actual customer service call to the new David Archuleta Shop (not really)

Screen Shot 2020-02-17 at 12.47.12 PM

Hello, is this the new David Archuleta Shop?

Why yes it is, how can we help you?

I’d like to order the item pictured above, please.

The jacket? Sorry, that’s not in our inventory.

No, not just the jacket, everything in the photo.

You’d like to order that particular photo?

No, no, no, no… what’s IN the photo.

I’m not sure I’m understanding you correctly. Mr. David Archuleta is in the photo.

Yes! Thank you! Exactly!!! Can I get express delivery?

We appreciate your call but I don’t think you understand how the shop works. We don’t deliver actual human beings.


Can I help you with anything else? We have hoodies as soft as a baby rabbit’s ears. A cool phone grip to keep your screen steady when you get an alert that Mr. Archuleta has launched an insta live. Tote bags to carry all the tissues you’ll need next time he sings Aiming for Hope. And lots of other great stuff.

Do you do rentals?


Buy on instalments?


What if I can find a Groupon?

You won’t. Look, I suggest you browse through the actual shop items, I’m sure you’ll find an inanimate object you’ll like.

I’ll need to think about it, I really had my heart set. Can you maybe put my name on a waiting list?

*dial tone*

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19 Responses to Actual customer service call to the new David Archuleta Shop (not really)

  1. angelofdja says:

    Ha! LOVE THIS! Iโ€™ll take one to go please? ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช

  2. refnaf says:

    Made my day gurl!!!

  3. TaterZen says:

    Amazing! You are 2200 miles away and still reading my mind. Was just wondering about a 30-day free trial.

  4. EL says:

    How about layaway? I heard it comes with 30 days of beard growth, free of charge!

  5. MissB says:


  6. Pepper says:

    Haha, your creative humour is spot on! You always make me laugh. This: “I suggest you browse through the actual shop items, Iโ€™m sure youโ€™ll find an inanimate object youโ€™ll like.” LOL

  7. emmegirl14 says:

    Canโ€™t figure out if you are insanely talented or just insane!

    Needed something to hold us over till tour – thisโ€™ll do just fine!

  8. amb4da says:

    Hahhaaaaโ€ฆ.love it. Tks for making me smile today, been missing this! “Can you maybe put my name on a waiting list? *dial tone*” lolol.
    Ahhh, but that pic…cool jacket, cool look…like he is ready to slay this spring tour. Fo’ sho’.

  9. Pepper says:

    Think it is your Birthday Deb….So Happy Birthday!! Many happy wishes and many returns, including many ‘Archie” returns to you! Hope your day is special and blessed! ๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽˆ๐ŸŽ‚

  10. amb4da says:

    Happy belated Birthday, Deb~~Hope you celebrated well! Many good wishes to you, all year through. xo

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