As you can see from David Archuleta’s insta stories, he was very very very busy this weekend.
But not too busy to get his face read. Yes, it’s a thing. Learn more here.
Fortunately, our ace investigative team* here at SAz was able to get a look at the reader’s full report, which she filed when this face popped up on her Skype screen.
Face reading for “John Doe”:
Notes: My first impression is that he looks remarkably like David Archuleta. Excuse me one moment (leaves the room to scream at a pitch only dogs can hear).
Eyes: There are two. They don’t lie.
Nose: This is the nose of a true artist. A man who lives and BREATHES… special air that gives him a perpetual glow. A very glowy glow.
Smile: Wait, what was I saying again? Where am? Who am I??
Bone structure: I am a little too not over the symmetry I see here. Very symmetrical. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a fine example of symmetry. It indicates perfection exists on and below the surface. Yes, that’s it. I need to stare more to make sure, however, so please stay on the line. Forever.
Scruff: I’m getting a strong feeling that there’s something called #TeamScruff out there and I have an overwhelming sense that I need to join this team. Not sure what it is BUT I AM SO IN! #TEAMSCRUFF!!!!!
Hair: Is that technically part of the face? It is now. Wow. Just wow. The magnificence of this hair speaks of the magnificence of the man. Am I right, fellow #TeamScruffers??
Dimple: Hold. On. A. New. York. Minute. NO ONE told me there was a dimple??? This changes everything. I can’t possibly charge for this session. Can I pay you?? Please, wait! Don’t hang up! I’m a professional here!!!
*There is no such team.
— snowangelzz 🍁 (@TheSnowAngelz) May 28, 2019
— rhiminee (@rhiminee) May 29, 2019
— I'm Ready #DA2019 (@archies_vanny) May 29, 2019