As you can see from David Archuleta’s insta stories, he was very very very busy this weekend.
But not too busy to get his face read. Yes, it’s a thing. Learn more here.
Fortunately, our ace investigative team* here at SAz was able to get a look at the reader’s full report, which she filed when this face popped up on her Skype screen.
Face reading for “John Doe”:
Notes: My first impression is that he looks remarkably like David Archuleta. Excuse me one moment (leaves the room to scream at a pitch only dogs can hear).
Eyes: There are two. They don’t lie.
Nose: This is the nose of a true artist. A man who lives and BREATHES… special air that gives him a perpetual glow. A very glowy glow.
Smile: Wait, what was I saying again? Where am? Who am I??
Bone structure: I am a little too not over the symmetry I see here. Very symmetrical. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a fine example of symmetry. It indicates perfection exists on and below the surface. Yes, that’s it. I need to stare more to make sure, however, so please stay on the line. Forever.
Scruff: I’m getting a strong feeling that there’s something called #TeamScruff out there and I have an overwhelming sense that I need to join this team. Not sure what it is BUT I AM SO IN! #TEAMSCRUFF!!!!!
Hair: Is that technically part of the face? It is now. Wow. Just wow. The magnificence of this hair speaks of the magnificence of the man. Am I right, fellow #TeamScruffers??
Dimple: Hold. On. A. New. York. Minute. NO ONE told me there was a dimple??? This changes everything. I can’t possibly charge for this session. Can I pay you?? Please, wait! Don’t hang up! I’m a professional here!!!
*connection lost*
—–
*There is no such team.
p.s.
BRB FLAIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!
.@DavidArchie in The Big 🍎 shooting a music videooooooo! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 #Paralyzed?? 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Check out the rest of his awesome insta storieeeeees! pic.twitter.com/0mYU2kvI13
— snowangelzz 🍁 (@TheSnowAngelz) May 28, 2019
p.s.s.
Love this exchange between David and America Ferrera on her Instagram post 😊 https://t.co/hP4qHwSHgE pic.twitter.com/c40Lfuq93R
— rhiminee (@rhiminee) May 29, 2019
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
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David Archuleta's IG Stories 😍😍😍 @DavidArchie pic.twitter.com/bIYMarwTdd
— I'm Ready #DA2019 (@archies_vanny) May 29, 2019
SnowAngelz: Canadian fans of David Archuleta 
Rofl! How do you think of these? Did you have Nothing Else Better To Do?
LOL, gurl, you done lost it. #TeamScruffFTWiiiiin!
#TeamScruff! Too funny 😂
You and David are too funny! #TeamScruff and #TeamHair! And what song is he making a music video in New York?
Priceless–and hilarious–info here! Should have had my face read while I was laughing my way through it.
Not sure about my stance with #TeamScruff but definitely on your #TeamNotReally.
Love it! Another TOfan gem!! Eyes: There are two. They don’t lie. That face is definitely worth studying!
eeeep! It be happening!!! Do you guys think it’s for Paralyzed??? *hopes*
Love the cuteness, cleverness and hilarity! “TeamScruff” is okay by me. Don’t think you missed a bit of importance on that ‘Face Read’, haha.
Another music video, nice! He just keeps goin’ goin’…. and it’s great. Will be a nice surprise, I’m sure….Paralyzed? Maybe.
Nice, sweet exchange with America Ferrara too.
Thanks for the updates, smiles and laughter. 🙂
LMBO! Too funny! Beware the dimple! heehee
Yay!!! Def a #Teamrcruffer here!!! Love the look!!
This really brightened my day TOfan!!
I’m thinking it’s gotta be Paralyzed??
#teamhopeso
Cute…your words too…;) least we forget the square forehead with widows peak, but the way his hair falls his face looks adorable, I mean round. Lol