Leo explained

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Everyone keeps asking why this next David Archuleta EP is called “Leo,” but I know exactly why.

*cough*wikipedia*cough* *cough*sortof*cough*

Turns out, Leo is one of the constellations of the zodiac, lying between Cancer the crab to the west, Virgo the maiden to the east, and the lesser known Simon the snake to the north and Constantine the unwashed to the south.

Its name is Latin for lion, and to the ancient Greeks represented the Nemean Lion killed by the mythical Greek hero Heracles (known to the ancient Romans as Hercules) as one of his 12 labors.

matadortumblr_mk5b4lbgu11r0k70yo1_250.gifThese labors included wearing polyester matador tights, getting groped by Priscilla Presley and touring with Chikeze.

Leo remains one of the 88 modern constellations today, and one of the most easily recognizable due to the way it glows and keeps turning up on iCarly reruns.

The lion’s mane and shoulders also form an shape known as “The Sickle,” which to modern observers may resemble a backwards “question mark” or just a random line that means nothing at all.

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Putting this here because I can.

Leo contains many bright stars, many of which were individually identified by the ancients. There are four stars of first or second magnitude, which render this constellation especially prominent:

1) Vocalist maximus is a blue-white main-sequence star emanating a brightness that blinds alien beings from 6,53423243 light-years away.

2) Pocketsize minimalus is a binary star that recedes from view when not on stage but flares 100-fold as soon as the asteroid Microphonus comes near.

3) Epsilon fiercelon is a double star visible in binoculars, especially from Higher Ground.

4) Theta sweatyfeetamus is a star best ignored altogether.

Modern astronomers excised a group of stars that once made up the lion’s furry chin area and used them to form the new constellation — Scrufftastic Hummenahummena — although there was precedent for that designation among the ancient Greeks and Romans.

Leo contains many bright galaxies — made up of a cloud of hydrogen, helium gas and empanada steam — that have a radiant close to the Gamma Gamma DavidIloveyouforevermarrymeorIllkeepwriting243234wordcommentsonyourIG formation.

In Greek mythology,Β Leo was identified as the Nemean Lion, a fierce beast that would take girls as hostages to its cave by singing Crush and grabbing their unsuspecting hands, until Hercules stepped in and threw them the setlist as a distraction.

So there, in a nutshell, is a complete explanation of why the next EP is called Leo.

Or, all the songs could be from The Lion King.

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What do you guys think??

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p.s.

He really is the best, isn’t he? *sniff*

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p.p.s.
I hope the lovely & amazing @Taterzen doesn’t mind me linking to this but I just love love LOVE this! HAPPY HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, E.!!!!!!!

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25 Responses to Leo explained

  1. Kizzi says:

    OMG, can’t stop laughing. πŸ˜πŸ€£πŸ˜† You are AmAzInG Ms TOfan!!! πŸ‘

    Congratulations to Mr and Mrs Taterzen. πŸ’— 36 Archuleta concerts is amazing. πŸ†

  2. oliveoil says:

    Tofan, everything is clear now .I am blown away by your amazingness and starry insights !!! Orion, the Searcher. Leo the Strong and Confident. So which constellation do you think will reflect the 3rd manifestation of this awesome guy ??? And congradulations Taterzen. Wow !! 50 years !!

  3. Pepper says:

    This is hilarious and quite brilliant! This: “and the lesser known Simon the snake to the north and Constantine the unwashed to the south.” LOL, cracked me up.
    Aw, yes David really is a good guy. Checked out the music he bought, she’s a really good soulful singer/musician.
    and..congrats to Taterzen, how wonderful and 36 concerts? Wow, another great accomplishment.
    Thanks for the humour TOfan and for explaining Leo to us, I feel very enlightened. πŸ™‚ There is so much good stuff in this very creative post have to read through it again.
    p.s. love the Leo banner up top.

  4. missbianca says:

    Your ability to tie together astronomy, ancient history, archieology, and bad American Idol jokes is unsurpassed in the known universe.

    “Putting this here because I can” may be the best photo caption ever.

    And one of my favorite couples is celebrating 50 years! Mr and Mrs Taterzen, that is just delightful.

  5. TOfan says:

    Thanks, guys, means a lot! β™₯β™₯β™₯ Esp. when it’s so quiet in the fan ranks, everyone must be on summer vaca… hope they come back when Leo drops in a mere couple of weeks, eeeeeee!

    • Grammyj says:

      Thanks for another fun post! Yes, it has been very quiet in the David fan base. I hope David has something planned to drum up interest in his Leo EP so fans know about it. He needs to announce more tour dates too!

  6. refnaf says:

    Whaaaaaaaa
    Hilarious TOfan!!!!!
    Checking in from my campsite on Georgian Bay…..
    Can’t wait for #Leo…… thanks for making the waiting fun!!!!

  7. Grammyj says:

    David posted an Instagram story of an Arthur cartoon again. On it he wrote “we love this show”. Inquiring minds would like to know who exactly “we” is – just David (me, myself and I), David and his niece, David and his mom or his sisters or David and the elusive traveling companion????

  8. Pepper says:

    Wow, back yard concerts, can you imagine? No, don’t think that would ever happen but yes that would be pretty incredible. Yes I guess lots of folks could be on vacay right now, not long before Leo makes his appearance though!
    Cute instagram. πŸ™‚

  9. Grammyj says:

    David was busy last night making Instagram stories. He sang a little bit of “Angel of Mine” and showed clips of his favorite acts from last night’s AGT. He also showed his mom with a giant zucchini. David needs to have jet lag more often lol!

  10. TOfan says:

    beautiful! I was wondering what else he sang….

  11. TOfan says:

    This is cool… so when David was in Hong Kong, he got to meet the mom who adopted Little Snow, she was in the audience… he must’ve known that ahead of time, how awesome! Lots of pics here, some from last year when David was at the Baby Home:

  12. Pepper says:

    Great updates, thanks TOfan! Love the videos and yes we do need to hear the whole song from David’s Instagram. He gives us these lovely little tidbits….a little taste. πŸ™‚ We do get some great things from David’s Instagrams. Love the video of David and his Mom, so cute!
    Aw, how sweet that David got to meet the Mom who adopted Little Snow. ❀

  13. TOfan says:

    Really interesting article about singers & the health of their voices… sooooo glad David has a good vocal coach in Dean, good technique, and takes care of his voice… yikes:

    https://www.theguardian.com/news/2017/aug/10/adele-vocal-cord-surgery-why-stars-keep-losing-their-voices?CMP=fb_gu

  14. dangitdavid says:

    Bahaha 🀣 How you come up with this stuff is beyond me but man….do I ever love you for it 😍 That black & white photo….there are just no words 😢❀️😢❀️😢❀️.

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