Official scientific definition of ‘soon’


Wow! Could not be more excited for this news!

Fall dates announced “soon.”

For a more precise look at what that means, science wise, we consulted our crack team of SAz, um…. astrophysicists! Yes that’s it. And here’s what they came up with:



  1. Take the square of the hypotenuse of the time it takes David to recover from limbo dancing enough to do Higher Ground head whips.
  2. Multiply that by the number of times you’ve watched the Troubadour Up All Night (Dance Fever edition).
  3. Add that to the square root of how many times Kari giggles while David goes sock & sandal shopping.
  4. Use a slide rule to calculate the average weight of a Utah fox (and no, I do not mean David… behave) and subtract from the total.
  5. Divide that by the time it takes for your mind to go completely blank during VIP.
  6. And, finally, round off that number to the nearest decimal point for an exact date for when we’ll hear about tour dates… aka sometime in 2018… or 19...


So what do you guys think?? When do you think we’ll hear??

..p.s. Top pic from the lovely & amazing Shelley!!! (‘natch)
DAVID’S IN CANADA, Y’ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And loved this comment on the FB post!

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28 Responses to Official scientific definition of ‘soon’

  1. Kizzi says:

    Nooooooo! 2018 or 2019. KMN. πŸ€”

    My secret sauce is my mind went blank before a VIP eons before I made the purchase(s)….shhhhhh….no i will not reveal how many. πŸ™ƒ. It is in my DNA. πŸ€—

    This ranks as one of your most creative & funniest posts ev-ah. LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

  2. Jenny says:

    Lololol. “Soon” means at 11:55pm PST Saturday
    There will be an announcement of an announcement of new EP and tour date
    I am excited!!!

  3. Grammyj says:

    Love this post with the definition of “soon” to David. It is NEVER the same as my definition of soon. What a funny post!!!!

  4. tawna21 says:

    Some people’s (David for example) soon is probably not my soon!! I’m an impatient person (yes, I admit it)!

  5. mlpb3 says:

    Here’s a definition of “very soon”. At least this wasn’t said:

  6. Donna Higby says:

    Ah, sadly, this number would always be zero for me, due to my result in step 5. #dividebyzero.

    • missbianca says:

      Anything divided by zero equals infinity. Except maybe 0/0 which is either math or my face at VIP. #trustmeiamanengineer

  7. refnaf says:

    TOfan I love your funny brain!!!

    I am certainly not going to count on anything happening this week….maybe that will help?!!

    His soon is never soon enough….

  8. Pepper says:

    Hahs, brilliantly calculated1 Better to chuckle about what soon means rather than despair. lol.
    Well it does say more music news next week, we’ll count on that. Fall dates….I’ll wager this fall. πŸ™‚
    Thanks for adding your great humour to it all TOfan!

  9. missbianca says:

    Firstly, I think this post is hysterically funny. Funny enough to snort Starbucks Pink Drink up my nose. The Team Archie’s concept of “soon” has broken my heart far too often and now I see the math behind it.

    But I have to take issue with your astrophysicists. 1) Time does not have a hypotenuse so there is a unit problem here which might be fixed if we take into account the height of the limbo bar. 4) Slide rules don’t do/never did addition #yesiamTHATold. Even-so we would require clarification as to whether this includes all species of fox in Utah or only Vulpes macrotis (pictured). 5)Serious math difficulty here since the estimated time of blanking is a very small number approaching zero, producing a result which is close to if not equal to infinity.

    I am sure the answer is a finite number, though, and maybe the announcements have already come to pass in the time it took me to type this.

    • mlpb3 says:

      Now I’m thinking. Who won the limbo competition? Video please or it didn’t happen. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Limbo Rock should be the next cover.

    • TOfan says:

      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Ms. B.

      mlpb3, yes! we needed that IG story like no other! πŸ™‚

  10. Pepper says:

    So, according to David’s Instagram, he’s in Cardston, Alberta or was? Attended a musical there to support a friend who wrote the music, sweet. Think he is really liking Alberta. πŸ™‚

  11. amb4da says:

    Multiply this by the times (am I up to 100 yet?) I’ve asked him to come East, squared by the years I’ve been holding vigil this side of the Rockies, divide by how my patience concurrently (? yes, that’s it…I think) wanes & yet grows hopeful again with each new tour hint….hm….are we there yet? No. But. “Soon.”
    Very funny post, TOFan. πŸ™‚
    Ps. David avi missing because recently changed it for more general use…David avi popping up in some places where it might be not as fitting….😏

  12. Pepper says:

    That really is a sweet reply on David’s FB post.. David is such a good guy. πŸ™‚
    tawna21….how nice that you have visited Alberta, yes it is a beautiful place.

    Still laughing as I read this post again TOfan. Love all the extra additional ‘soon’ comments from people too, haha.

  13. TOfan says:

    omigosh you guys… you need to go to Tina’s tumblr HERE and listen to her audio of Say Me from St. Louis… u.n.r.e.a.l.

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