Super-secret RootsTech Floor Plan (not really)

So apparently David will be doing a signing at the RootsTech Event in February at the Salt Palace Convention Center in SLC.

In my solemn duty as a fan, I’ll be sending David my own personal copy of this floor plan to help him avoid becoming overwhelmed and (God forbid) having to exhibit any remotely sucking-up behaviour.

(Being a 110% introvert myself, I obtained it through my personal connections in Introverts Anonymous … an international organization through which members acknowledge one another by avoiding direct eye contact and extending awkward silences.)

Or maybe he already has a copy.


So, anybody going?

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55 Responses to Super-secret RootsTech Floor Plan (not really)

  1. peppertara says:

    Have to comment before I go to bed. Your brilliant mind is at work again TOfan! So good, so funny and so well thought out, haha. I could probably join “Introverts Anonymous” myself. With parking for the “Socially Handicapped’, that “Fan repellent spray” and the “Give it a rest rooms” this is a must have plan! LOL.
    Love it, thanks for your wit, your smarts and for giving me a good laugh.
    p.s. I think David would enjoy this and your great wit. 🙂

  2. justvisiting says:

    Mwahahahaha! Love this! Hilarious! “Does he really like mangoes??”
    Specially liking the wardrobe to Narnia and the emergency stock of bunny suits! LOL!!!
    Thanks for the great post, TOfan!

  3. Refnaf says:


  4. taterzen says:

    TOfan, there is nobody youer than you. Lucky us. 🙂

    David, when all else fails—> Tranquility Base!

  5. NanNan says:

    Oh Deb. Can’t read your posts while I’m eating. This has me laughing so much I blew cookie crumbs at my computer screen! I need a Tranquility Base too sometimes! And the parking for the socially handicapped is a must – for quick escapes.

  6. Kizzi says:

    OMG TOfan. Hysterical. I just love your perspective.
    If humor and laughter are the sounds of the soul dancing, your soul, no doubt, looks like Fred Astaire.

    Happy New Year to all at SAz. Hugs and love!

  7. Haroldcpim says:

    To fan
    I cracked up reading this girl you are so funny and his bring you to new heights .

  8. Spirit says:

    Hilarious! Another standing ovation worthy post, TOfan! 😄

  9. MT says:

    ROTFL ToFan, you have a true gift! Funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. 😀

  10. oliveoil says:

    Are you sure there are enough escape routes ???

  11. cchalo said to come and have a look so of course I hurried on over.

    I love it, and love the plan! You have me believing it really exists. Such reality!

    There is an interesting book on Amazon called “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”. I think I will take a look at it,

    Thanks TOfan!!

    SB 🍁

  12. awestruck says:

    Oh TOfan – so creatively funny! “Wait, does he really like mangos?” and the Lunch Hall TRANQUILITY BASE!

    Are you really an introvert?

  13. betsy says:

    How on earth you think of these things, I’ll never know.
    So funny.
    Is there room for a pole to slide down from from the second floor, a la Bonnie Hunt?
    Thanks for making me laugh at 12:30 in the morning. 🙂
    Also, were you an architect in your past life?

    • TOfan says:

      I was actually going to include a fireman’s pole escape hatch directly to the lunch room but it wouldn’t fit, lol, so there goes my architect dreams! 🙂

  14. itsMEdj says:

    Bows to our beloved “Fred”!!! Kizzi nailed it! I think David should sign this map, and keep a copy, just in case…teehee. Wonder if his bunny suit has pockets for provisions, or maps of escape routes?? We ARE talking about a man with a plan. Trust the Archuleta! 🙂

  15. TOfan says:

    Thanks for your comments, guys, means a lot to an introvert like me, lol. (And yes, awestruck, I really am… probably more so than David, even… I know I blather on here, I guess I only lurk in real life. 🙂 )

    So, is anybody going??? Have my fingers crossed for a livestream!

  16. ray says:

    you all make fun of david ,,and then wonder why he doesn,t commuteate with you more often, tha is just sick humor,maken fun of another person real feelings, you all should be ashamed of your selves,

    • missbianca says:

      I don’t see it as sick, ray, but light-hearted and loving. I have been in crowded areas where I would have loved a map of the escape routes and quiet spaces.

      • oliveoil says:

        I feel like there has been so much analyzing , reanalyzing and angst about David’s blog, that this is a breath of fresh air. Thank you Tofan for your sweet humor. It helps lighten things up !!! Keep on doing what you do. 🙂 🙂 Hugs

        • cc halo says:

          Yes, I think that a little dark humor might be just what fans need about now.

          • It is what fans have needed on a number of occasions throughout the years including the long weary droughts, the days of someone missing, the days when we were told to get a life for ourselves (but not in those exact words). Each time there was humor, it made being a loyal fan continue to be possible. The days of waiting, wondering and confusion have turned into years really. I know that as soon as I read that there is a little comic ‘relief’ I am here.


    • TOfan says:

      Sorry you feel that way, Ray, I was actually making fun of myself more than anything.

    • Ray, we don’t wonder why he doesn’t communicate with us anymore. Something has happened in his life or some things have happened to him and we are not the cause just caught in the scenario.

    • refnaf says:

      Laughter is the best medicine Ray….and it comes from a loving heart

  17. justwondering says:


    I don’t see how anyone can think this is “making fun” of David. Rather your genius in finding humor in the otherwise very confusing & surprising revelations by David is very welcome. Thank you.

  18. nellie83 says:

    Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! Love it Debbie!

  19. rarchiefan says:

    Making fun of anyone’s feelings is in poor taste. I Pray NO one sends this to David. Instead of being open and honest with all of us while still doing music in his own way I would not blame him for saying not worth it I am going to school to be an ENT. Bet no one would make fun of him as a doctor.

    • TOfan says:

      rarchiefan, I agree with your first two sentences but I would NEVER make fun of David… poke fun/tease, yes, sorry, I can’t help myself. Believe it or not, totally done with love, otherwise I would not still be here.

  20. oliveoil says:

    Tofan, I really think David is happier now than he’s been in a long time. He has a sense of humor too, and I think he would think he would get a laugh out of your floor plan. His sisters tease him a LOT, and it doesn’t seem to bother him. And performing for the troops in the middle east took a lot of guts. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think he is all that fragile and easily hurt. Just the opposite.

  21. GwenPoGwen says:

    Agree with you Ray. Sad.

  22. peppertara says:

    I agree with oliveoil and I do respect everyone’s comments and their feelings but….it’s a shame that some people think this very light hearted, brilliantly done, humorous blog is offensive in any way to David. I think it actually takes his feelings into consideration by relating to them and sympathizing and giving an outlet for them by adding some great humour. I am rather an introvert myself and if this were written with me in mind, I would still be laughing at the humour in it (and at myself). Hey, there are times when I would love an escape route!
    Perhaps you need to be an introvert to really understand this and relate to ti and appreciate the genuine sincerity and humour in it. I think we need to give David credit for having a light hearted side as well and a good sense of humour, he really seems to be a well rounded individual along with being incredibly fabulous at his craft. Really don’t believe he would take offense, I could be wrong but I think he would know the spirit in which it is written. I know this blog was done with love (TOfan is one heck of a great fan and supporter) and maybe this was just the thing to lighten things up a little amongst the fans.
    I don’t think David would judge….perhaps we should not be doing that either. To each his own I guess but I have nothing but gratitude and respect for TOfan and her brilliant writings, including this one. I also have nothing but respect for David and gratitude to him for sharing his beautiful voice.
    Like David, I can be long winded too. 🙂

    • TOfan says:

      ♥ ♥ ♥ … I think you’re right, pepp, maybe you need to be a major introvert to really relate… *low-profile high-five*

  23. refnaf says:

    Well Said Peppertara!

  24. peppertara says:

    Aw, good to see David in songwriting sessions. Hope he is having a wonderfully, inspired time!
    Love seeing him at the piano. 🙂

  25. betsy says:

    Yaaaaay, glad to see he’s singing and creating! (I love the intensely deep part)

    On the other hand, know that your post was taken in a
    great way by most fans.

    • ray says:

      not true, do you know all the fns,NO only the ones who post,, don,t judge others by your self,me also an introvert. so there.and i didn,t see any humor in this post, to each his own. you can,t speack for all of us, have always love , the post here, until this ons, every body makes a mistake now and then. rant over moveing on.

      • TOfan says:

        Sorry I missed the mark for you this time, Ray. And I appreciate that you are not one of those fans who only comment when they have something negative to say, or when there’s drama, because I have noticed some of those. Hey, maybe that could be a post, lol.

        As you say, moving on….

  26. We know that he is working, but seeing that pic of him at the piano just makes me soooo happy

    • TOfan says:

      Me too, “Refnaf in disguise” 😉 … I checked out some of the songs from the Nashville peeps he’s working with and really liked the vibe.

      Oh, and yesterday I was listening to a group I hadn’t heard before and saw that their music was dubbed “indie soul” …. not a stretch to think of D. going that way… just sayin’. Here’s the song I heard:

  27. TOfan says:

    The phrase “kid in a candy store” comes to mind. 🙂

  28. Can anyone say “Noting David”. Oh wait is this site now the Nouveau Noting David BWAhahahahaha

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