As you can see in this video, comedian Tim Allen was on Jimmy Kimmel last night extolling the virtues of one David James Archuleta. (pronounced “Ark-U-letta,” we have been wrong all this time!)
Tim is a crafty one. He pretended that his five-year-old daughter liked D.’s music.
Ha! Tim, we are ON to you.
Here’s the real scoop unearthed by our crack investigative team here at SAz*.
Tim not only voted for David on Idol, he also… well, check this out:
Voice-decoding software** reveals that “He’s got a great voice” is code for “I stream Archie Radio throughout my 6,432 room Hollywood mega-mansion.” Am I right, my friends?
Photos leaked by Edward Snowdon reveal the following:
The inside of Tim’s Home Improvement Dressing Room:
His favourite T-shirt:
And the cozy room he built just to watch the Glorious video:
Tim, no need to hide behind your daughter. We get you.
Let’s all watch this together again, shall we? *group hug*
This is hiLARous!
“The overwhelming urge to put your hand on his mouth and say, “NO DAVID. YOU’RE GLORIOUS.”
Wondering how you can let him know that if he can’t find where he belongs, he can always stay at your place.
Wondering if it’s the Spirit or David that’s causing a swelling in your bosom.
A sudden, unexpected desire to see “Meet the Mormons”. #whut
Feeling certain that the piece David was called to play is the hot piece.”
BREAKING HAIR-PROGRESS NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*basically me and a twisted mind.