A special @DavidArchie B-day story for the lovely Ms. Refnaf!

****** Happy Birthday, Ref!!! ******

In honour of your love for all things Lord of the Rings, here’s a little David Archuleta-themed Frodo-esque story for your special day! 🙂

Counting Davids Character David Archuleta as Frodo

As David the Humble humbly swaggered his way through the Shire, he had a song in his heart … make that two… or maybe six.

He loved to stop and sing at each cottage he passed, especially if a widow or orphan lived within … or a feisty daughter of a prostitute who liked to fly kites.

But on this day, David the Humble had no time to stop and serenade the shirefolk. He had an important mission he was tasked with… no not that mission, another mission.

‘Twas up to him and only him to take the powerful ring to Mount Doom. Yes! The Ring. The precious golden orb engraved with the letters CTR…

…not because of its powers but because he saw a notice on Craigslist that someone lost it and even though the guy lived 1,000 Miles away, it was the right thing to do…. plus, there was a reward:  free dragon rides.

Humble David tried wearing the Ring on his right hand for safekeeping but couldn’t stop playing with it. His hand broke out in a rash — worse than when Paula Abdul gave him that sparkly bracelet after Hobbit Idol.

He hurried back to his cottage to ready for the journey. He filled his satchel with mangoes, almonds, 30 Costco sample cups of Kashi cereal, and his trusted copy of The Alchemist … not to read, but as a weapon… he’d sprung for hardcover!

As he entered the enchanted forest, he sang quietly to himself to steel his courage. Two verses of “Wizard Moves Like Jagger” and the chorus of “Everybody Wants to Rule Middle-Earth.” Now he felt ready to take on any foe… except maybe Nicki Minaj, she frightened even Voldemort (oops, wrong book).

At the edge of the woods, our skinny-jeans hero spied a tiny, familiar face!

“Almond!!!”

The squirrel scurried over. But as David the Humble bent down to give Almond an almond, the irony struck him and he spontaneously belted out “Isn’t it ironiiiiiiic?!” Shaking the leaves on all the trees.

Denied his promised snack, Almond was furious. His eyes flashed as red as the fiery pits of Mordor and he glared at the golden Ring. Almond lunged onto Humble David’s hand and tried to pry off the Ring with his uncommonly long squirrel fangs.

After a struggle, Humble David hit Almond with an oar, gave him a glare that would melt ice, called him a hob-knocker, and flung him off into the forest. Then he ran cross-country all the way to Mordor… with only one minor collapse and a rest stop at a welcoming medieval medical centre in the glens.

Out of breath and sweating like a wild boar, he finally reached his destination, tossed the ring at its owner and they all lived Hobbitly ever after.

Happy Birthday, Bonne Fête, gelukkige Verjaardag, Ref!!!!!

P.S.

Picture 38iMDmages

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31 Responses to A special @DavidArchie B-day story for the lovely Ms. Refnaf!

  1. abanana77 says:

    TOfan – LOVE this!!! I don’t know why I still get surprised when you you come up with the most hilariously witty things! I should be used to it by now!!! But they’re always SO funny I don’t think you can ever better yourself… but then you do! Love it!!

    Ref – Happy Birthday!!! <3333

  2. beloirti says:

    Gorgeous! I kept thinking as I read that I must send this clever item to all my friends…then I realize they would get none of it since “you had to be there”!! A special gift you have there, TOfan.

  3. annie318 says:

    TOfan~
    I am a regular lurker of Snowangelz. I want you to know you have a great talent. Your wit is thoroughly appreciated by me. This story made me laugh. Also the story of David’s lost backpack. I ate some mango earlier this evening. This brought back the memory of David wondering aloud if he could have left it at the All You Can Eat mango shop. Please keep writing. You’re too talented not to.
    Anyway, thank you.
    Annie

  4. dangitdavid says:

    Rotfl!! Once again I’m killing myself laughing. 😃 What an amazing gift you have!! This is why I love this site hahaha. And Happy Birthday to Refnaf!! Enjoy your special day girl 😊

  5. Kizzi says:

    Happy Birthday Ref!

    TOfan, as always, you are amazing.

  6. pastelpastel says:

    Brilliant story from someone who knows alot about that Humble Lord, from Hobbit Idol! So creative. What a special birthday gift! Have a great one Nancy!

  7. CADTHU says:

    “After a struggle, Humble David hit Almond with an oar, gave him a glare that would melt ice, called him a hob-knocker, and flung him off into the forest. Then he ran cross-country all the way to Mordor… with only one minor collapse and a rest stop at a welcoming medieval medical centre in the glens.”
    THIS paragraph! What more can I say other than only us “Archies” would literally fall off our chair laughing at this! You are brilliant girl!!!!

  8. Archugeezer says:

    Just three things about this:

    1. I laughed through every paragraph.
    2. May you never overcome your cleverness.
    3. I want to be you.

    Oh, one more: Happy Birthday, Ref!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Deb, I love this too much. LOLOL What a great Birthday present! LOL Nancy, I hope you have a wonderful day today filled with good things. I just want to say how grateful I am that both our SnowAngelz are fans of “David the Humble.” Love you guys and thank you 🙂

  10. Anonymous says:

    Shoot, I didn’t mean to be anonymous in my comment above. Love you and Happy Birthday from Claudia

  11. myheartsong says:

    You always make me at least smile…this time you made me ROTFL! I love that we get every single reference and that we really are family.

    Happy birthday refnaf….oh, and Deb, my birthday is Oct. 30th. 😉

  12. sweetonda says:

    This was so much fun to read! Deb, you never cease to amaze me with your talents!

    Happy Day Nancy, may it be filled with nothing but good things!

  13. collegemom says:

    Laughing!!

  14. emmegirl14 says:

    Happy Birthday refnaf, hope it is “everything and more!”

    tofan, rofl – to quote a Star Search judge talking about “some kid singer” one time,
    “I seriously, I don’t understand how you do it, I am totally amazed!”…. great stuff!

  15. Sunny says:

    Hilarious and witty!! Loved this line: “Now he felt ready to take on any foe… except maybe Nicki Minaj, she frightened even Voldemort (oops, wrong book).”

  16. peppertara says:

    This is so witty, wonderful and wowsa worthy…with all its beauty and hilarity, haha. “As he entered the enchanted forest, he sang quietly to himself to steel his courage. Two verses of “Wizard Moves Like Jagger” and the chorus of “Everybody Wants to Rule Middle-Earth.” Now he felt ready to take on any foe… except maybe Nicki Minaj, she frightened even Voldemort (oops, wrong book).”
    Still laughing! Such funny brilliance TOfan.
    Refnaf….a very Happy Birthday to you! You have some special wishes here (with much humour)!

  17. peppertara says:

    Oh…and that Mother’s Day message in Spanish is just a lovely thing. It is simply precioso.
    🙂

  18. Oh Happy Birthday Nancy! ❤ ❤ ❤
    And I want to marry Deb's brain! ❤ ❤ ❤

  19. refnaf says:

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TOfan))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    This is soooo awesome….. all my fave things > David, LOTR and A mothers day greeting in Spanish!!!!
    Thank you so much for making my day and my whole week (maybe my entire year) You are the very best writer!!!!
    Thanks to everyone for the birthday greetings!!!!

  20. TOfan says:

    One more thing on your birthday, Ref! *****TISSUE ALERT!!!!!!!!!!********

  21. lolol late as usual ~ “CraigsList” ~too funny! ☺ ~ & oh those sweet words from David>> “Hey guys~David here” <– all I needed tonight. Happy Birthday Refnaf 🙂

  22. SandyBeaches says:

    Happy Belated Birthday wishes great Canadian girl!! Wishing you all the best. We are both Taureans!

    What is with the weather??? Not so nice here! We are going out for lobster this evening at a place called Hall’s Harbor which is right on the shores of the Bay of Funday. Raincoats and a knife required to cut the fog but that’s OK!!

    Happy Mother ‘s Day everyone!

    SB

  23. peppertara says:

    A very wet Mothers’ Day here too. Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there and ‘Mom figures’. Aww…such a lovely, warm, sweet vlog from dear David, he thought of everything! ❤
    A day to honour Mothers (and Mothers in spirit). Today I am doing just that with a friend, honouring our Moms with their favorite music, flowers and hearts full of love and gratitude.
    Always in our hearts, always with us.
    Hope it's a lovely Mother's Day for all. 🙂

  24. gladys1961 says:

    yo escribi un articulo en mi blog, y yo inclui, a vos y a tu blog, espero que te guste.
    http://salt-david-city-2250.blogspot.com.ar/

  25. gladys1961 says:

    ups, sorry

    I wrote an article on my blog, and I included, to you and your blog, hope you like it.
    http://salt-david-city-2250.blogspot.com.ar/

  26. djafan says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY REFNAF!!!! Sorry for the belated and like I tell everyone a birthday is not a birthday without this song 🙂

  27. beloirti says:

    Yes, Refnaf, Happy b’day to you

  28. TOfan says:

    New post/thread!

    🙂

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