October 13 concert cell cast (not really)

There may or may not be a certain musical event happening in a certain South American nation starring a certain musical genius this very evening … the publicity materials for said possibly maybe event mentioned that the songs included would be both sacred and from the m.g.’s “pop repertoire” …  no recording or photography are allowed but no mention was made of cell casts, so here we go with a transcript  (not really aka en realidad no) …

crackle, crackle, crackle

Fans around the globe hear nothing but the hiss and pop of the worst phone line in history… and yet they can’t step away … almost at the same moment they stare at their copy of the tour poster … the original smuggled out of the continent on the back of a burro that vaguely resembled Ryan Seacrest… the picture was clearly taken before the m.g. had his super-short dimple-enhancing hair trim, and while his name tag was in the wash….

No cameras are allowed in the venue, but one super ninja security guard (who wears his “I ♥ Elder Archuleta” t-shirt under his security uniform) takes this one shot because he feels our pain….

To the chants of El-der! El-der! El-der! a silhouette appears behind the curtain as a heartbeat thumping rises to a crescendo … not from the sound system but the actual heartbeats of everyone there…

A hush falls over the crowd as the curtain rises slowly to reveal a grand piano at centre stage….

Everyone listening cranks up the volume on the cell cast as the first notes of THAT VOICE ring clearly through all the crackling and hissing on the line… what IS that song? Is it a hymn? A traditional Spanish ballad? Zero Gravity?… no one has heard this music before but it’s hypnotizing, mesmerizing… every single person listening has their own personal reaction….

It seems like forever he’s been gone … and yet only yesterday that he left …. gotta get my watch fixed …..

The songs are breathtakingly beautiful so far … crackle, crackle, crackle … “I’d like to make an Announcement”

phew, he’s only announcing intermission….

“Please stop by the merch table … but only if you feel like it … and don’t have to make a stop at the washroom or anything …..”

After a second half that includes some very moving speeches, a laser light show, Modest is Hottest Dance Crew, tasteful dougie lessons, and a guest appearance by Charice (at least that’s what it sounded like on the cell cast)… the m.g. comes out for his final encore … even through the crackling you can hear the sounds of Costco-sized crates of tissues being ripped open… and this….

p.s. absolutely NO disrespect intended please please please believe me… I just can’t help myself sometimes :)

************

p.p.s. eeeeeeeeeek apparently our musical genius took things waaaaaay further than I even imagined, lol … and since this was a public event, I’m sharing some snippets from Gladys (who attended the event) from last night’s chat at The Voice… for more deets, stay posted at http://thevoicedavidarchuleta.com for Gladys’s story (all caps are hers… can you blame her? :) :

I’M GOING TO SHARE THINGS IN GENERAL TO SWEETEN THINGS A BIT, HE SANG IMAGINE, DANCED SALSA, A SONG BY CELIA CRUZ, AND DANCED LIKE AL JOHNSON [Al Jolson?]
KARATE KICKS, DAVID WAS CRAZY
HE WORE A WHITE HAT AND AND DID SOME DANCE STEPS AND SANG CLOSE BY COELLO
HE ACTED LIKE HE WAS PREPARING FOR A BOXING MATCH, THREW SOME PUNCHES IN THE AIR AND THEN HE SANG
SONGS THAT ARE WELL KNOWN IN ENGLISH, WHEN SHE FINDS THE NAMES TO THE SONGS SHE’LL TELL US
HE SANG ITS A A WONDERFUL WORLD!!!
AS A TRIBUTE TO THE ELDERS HE SANG DIXIE BY AL JOHNSON Y KNEELED DOWN. DAVID WAS ON FIRE AND WHEN HE DANCED SALSA AHHHHHHHHH
HE WORE THE WHITE HAT TO SING THE AL JONSON SONG, WHEN HE FINISHED HE THREW THE HATS TO THE PUBLIC, I NEVER SEEN HIM LIKE THIS
HE ALSO SANG IMAGINE, A THOUSAND MILES, HERO IN SPANISH AND DREAM A MORNING? IN SPANISH
HE SANG AN ARGENTINIEN SONG AND I FAINTED, IT’S CALLED THANKS TO LIFE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL SONG
EVERYTHING WAS IN SPANISH, HE DIDN’T SPEAK ENGLISH, HE GAVE A PERFECT SPEECH IN SPANISH
WHEN HE FINISHED SINGING, HE SAID THAT IN HIS COUNTRY, THE AUDIENCE ASKED FOR MORE BUT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW SOME THINGS WERE SAID IN SPANISH
THEY TOOK HIM OUT HURRIEDLY, HE WANTED TO GREET BUT THEY DIDN’T LET HIM
HE SMILED ALL THE TIME AND SAID THAT HE WAS HOT
HE WIPED HIS SWEAT OFTEN AND THEN HE APOLOGIZED FOR THE BOXING ACT BECAUSE MISSIONARIES DONT DO THAT AND LAUGHED ALOT, HE IS NO LONGER THIN LOOKING
E LOOKS GOOD AND HAS GROWN SOME, BIGGER BODY
HE DID ALL THIS DANCING IN A SUIT, MY GOD, I CRIED, A THE GIRL NEXT TO ME DID TOO. WE COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT WE WERE WATCHING, WE COULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT WE WERE SEEING, NOT TIMID, IT DIDN’ T EXIST
HE SAID THAT THE DECISION TO GO ON A MISSION WAS SOMETHING THAT CAME FROM HIS HEART, JUST LIKE THE MUSIC, IT WAS A DIFICULT DECISION BUT SOMETHING HE HAD TO DO
HE SANG MANY HYMNS, AT THE BEGINNING WE WERE SCOLDED BECUASE WE SCREAMED AND CLAPPED, BUT THEN IT COULDNT BE HELPED
HE ASKED US TO STAND AND DANCE WITH HIM WHEN HE SANG SONG BY CELIA CRUZ DANCED SALSA, HE WAS SERIOUSLY DANCING, HE SAID HE LIKED THAT THE AUDIENCE DANCED WITH HIM NOT LIKE MANY NORTH AMERICANS THAT STAY SEATED
TO SEE DAVID DANCE AND KNEEL TO SING, KARATE KICK IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER FORGET WHILE I’M ALIVE
WHEN THEY STARTED PLAYING THE NOTES OF ROCKY SONG, HE STARTED MOVING HIS ARMS TO THE BACK LIKE BOXERS, THEN TO THE FRONT, AND THEN SHADOW BOXED WITH AN IMAGINARY BOXER, IT WAS FUNNY
AND THEN KICKING THE AIR LIKE A KICK BOXER, UNDERSTAND THAT I NEVER IN MY LIFE THOUGHT DAVID WAS GOING TO DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS
 
IF YOU WOULD’VE SEEN WHEN HE STARTED THE AL JOLSON SONG, HE STOOD NEXT TO COELLO AND THEY STARTED SINGING, THEN BOTH PUT ON THE WHITE HATS AND DAVID CAME TO THE CENTER OF THE STAGE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
AND SANG AND MOVED ALOT AND TO FINISH HE KNEELED DOWN AND MOTIONED TO COELLO TO KEEP PLAYING
DAVID WAS IN ANOTHER WORLD 

WHEN COELLO STOPPED PAYING,HE ASKED HIM TO KEEP PLAYING!
TEN CHAIRS AT EACH SIDE, 20 ROWS AND MORE PEEPS IN THE BACK
JUST HIM AND PIANO PLAYER POCO
TURQOUISE TIE

Song list?

despues (after the church songs)

I’m strong
un minuto mas (one minute more)
sueñas (dreams)
heroe (hero)
Heaven
A thousand miles
Eye of the Tiger

[From David Archuleta Venezuela]

-David sang in English: How Firm A Foundation, I’m Trying To Be Like Jesus, Everybody Hurts, A Thousand Miles, Heaven, I’m Strong, Eye of the Tiger, Imagine, Dixie, and What a Wonderful World.

-David sang in Spanish: Hero (Hero de Mariah Carey Spanish version), dreams, One Minute More (Spanish version), Gracias A La Vida, the life is a Carnival and several hymns.

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22 Responses to October 13 concert cell cast (not really)

  1. NorthCarolinaGirl♥Marylee says:

    lol Once again, laughing & crying at the same time! ..but seriously, can you just imagine the treat in store for those lucky folks there tonight. I don’t doubt for one second tissues…LOTS of tissues…will be required tonight, especially for those who have never heard that VOICE before. A CELLCAST would be FABULOUS & much needed right now. Thanks for the laughter, Deb. <3

  2. emmegirl14 says:

    tofan, LOL, priceless! You make me *cackle, cackle, cackle*
    (I’m so excited)

    archugeezer, loved your previous article, “but sometimes you have to swim upstream to do it”…lol!
    tofan, the clandestine Crush video, risky but essential business.
    refnaf, Chilean wine, what an absolutely lovely idea.

  3. peppertara says:

    Oh TOfan, hilarious, sweet, wonderful and…..to be honest would love a ‘crappy cellcast’! Know it wouldn’t happen of course. Love your ingenious humour, it’s a Good Place here. Trying to catch up on the last posts too and also loved Archugeezer’s post, a lot. Can definitely relate.
    Yes indeed, lucky people today at the gathering with David.
    My little experience with missionaries: On my way home from shopping today I was approached by two missionaries. Awesome young men and one of them was so much like David I did a double take. His height, his colouring, his pretty eyes and especially his beautiful radiant smile. Reminded me so much of another awesome young man. Almost said something to him but decided not to, didn’t want to interrupt where their hearts were at and what they were focused on.
    But boy…..couldn’t stop thinking of D. Did have a nice five minute chat with them though. They were very sweet and not pushy at all but must admit I couldn’t help but stare at the shorter, quieter, dark haired latino looking young missionary with the beautiful smile. :)
    I know there is certainly ‘no disrespect’ in your wonderful post TOfan, love it and now after all my rambling, must read it again!

  4. ………….Oh My, If Only! Think he is singing right now. Love your take on things Tofan and no disrespect. We need humor and each other. 200 Days of Service as of tommorrow. :)

  5. sunny says:

    TOfan, you are so hilarious!!

  6. lani says:

    ROTFL!!!!!! Thanks Tofan!

  7. Anonymous says:

    H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S! !!!!! TOfan
    What I wouldn’t give for a real crappy cell cast
    I am so relieved that you can not stop yourself from providing our archu laughs
    ROTF

  8. Anonymous says:

    I love this too much.

  9. emmegirl14 says:

    A DA concert, anywhere, in any capacity, is spazworthy.
    How is it he continues to surprise.
    Can not wait for more details.

    • TOfan says:

      “spazworthy”… perfect word, emmegirl … tbh, I’m still in shock over Eye of the Tiger, lol, such a random David choice (or is it? :) )

      Risin’ up straight to the top
      Had the guts, got the glory
      Went the distance
      Now I’m not gonna stop
      Just a man and his will to survive

  10. peppertara says:

    Wow, the concert that David did sounds incredible! He sang an Al Jolson song while kneeling down??? Oh David, the Master on stage in full force. Can’t hold him down for long! Everything he sang (and danced and shadow boxed and karate kicked or kick boxed, lol) sounds amazing! Oh would have loved to have been there. Thanks to Gladys for her recap! I am so glad he was allowed to do this, yowsers! Can just imagine it all. Keep that serious Salsa dancing going when you get back David!

    • TOfan says:

      a big YES! to the salsa dancing, pepp!!!… when David first surprised us with a smidge of salsa during Fa-La-La on the MKOC tour, I kept thinking he was testing the waters, not just for the audience but for himself as well, and that he’d love to do more…

      I bet when D. was with Jive, they probably tried to talk him into doing Beebs’ style dance videos etc. (‘cuz that’s the usual path for a “teen” star) and if they did, he’d have had to fight to say “that’s just not me” … but he knows lots of fans want to see him do more dancing, lol, and he does come by it naturally :) … so I find it so interesting that he’s found a way to stay true to himself but also get some dance moves in there … as usual, doing things HIS way.

  11. Archugeezer says:

    Just home from another weekend on the road. I saw “cell cast” in your headline and momentarily wigged out. Good thing you always include the “not really” disclaimer because you’re not only hilariously entertaining, you’re quite believable to those of us who are somewhat inclined to believe every good thing (even rumors) about David.

    My “go with the flow” now has a salsa beat.

  12. TOfan says:

    Just catching up on Twitter and saw this: @sandritangel he danced salsa and got on his knee and sang its a beautiful world and wore a white hat for one song and eye of the tiger with boxing moves

    If I dreamed that, I swear I’d wake up and HOWL laughing. :lol:

  13. emmegirl14 says:

    LOL, I know Tofan, it really is a ‘never in your wildest dreams’ scenario!

    So he sang over 15 songs! Wish we knew more about a few of them, like I’m Strong and One Minute More. Heaven, possibly Los Lonely Boys, have that on CD, would looove to hear him sing that! What A Wonderful World and then Al Jolson, whaaaat! and Life is a Carnaval, getting all Latin-y with his Spanish singing and salsa. If this is a just world, we will hear some of these when he gets back. We may have to demand it – you know how he loves pleasing his fans ;)

  14. sunny says:

    Love Gladys’s recap!! Wish I could have been there!

  15. --bianca says:

    David doesn’t disappoint.
    In fact, he exceeds my expectations every time.
    What a performer!

  16. TOfan says:

    New post/thread!
    :)

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