There may or may not be a certain musical event happening in a certain South American nation starring a certain musical genius this very evening … the publicity materials for said possibly maybe event mentioned that the songs included would be both sacred and from the m.g.’s “pop repertoire” … no recording or photography are allowed but no mention was made of cell casts, so here we go with a transcript (not really aka en realidad no) …
crackle, crackle, crackle
Fans around the globe hear nothing but the hiss and pop of the worst phone line in history… and yet they can’t step away … almost at the same moment they stare at their copy of the tour poster … the original smuggled out of the continent on the back of a burro that vaguely resembled Ryan Seacrest… the picture was clearly taken before the m.g. had his super-short dimple-enhancing hair trim, and while his name tag was in the wash….
No cameras are allowed in the venue, but one super ninja security guard (who wears his “I ♥ Elder Archuleta” t-shirt under his security uniform) takes this one shot because he feels our pain….
To the chants of El-der! El-der! El-der! a silhouette appears behind the curtain as a heartbeat thumping rises to a crescendo … not from the sound system but the actual heartbeats of everyone there…
A hush falls over the crowd as the curtain rises slowly to reveal a grand piano at centre stage….
Everyone listening cranks up the volume on the cell cast as the first notes of THAT VOICE ring clearly through all the crackling and hissing on the line… what IS that song? Is it a hymn? A traditional Spanish ballad? Zero Gravity?… no one has heard this music before but it’s hypnotizing, mesmerizing… every single person listening has their own personal reaction….
It seems like forever he’s been gone … and yet only yesterday that he left …. gotta get my watch fixed …..
The songs are breathtakingly beautiful so far … crackle, crackle, crackle … “I’d like to make an Announcement”
“Please stop by the merch table … but only if you feel like it … and don’t have to make a stop at the washroom or anything …..”
After a second half that includes some very moving speeches, a laser light show, Modest is Hottest Dance Crew, tasteful dougie lessons, and a guest appearance by Charice (at least that’s what it sounded like on the cell cast)… the m.g. comes out for his final encore … even through the crackling you can hear the sounds of Costco-sized crates of tissues being ripped open… and this….
p.s. absolutely NO disrespect intended please please please believe me… I just can’t help myself sometimes
p.p.s. eeeeeeeeeek apparently our musical genius took things waaaaaay further than I even imagined, lol … and since this was a public event, I’m sharing some snippets from Gladys (who attended the event) from last night’s chat at The Voice… for more deets, stay posted at http://thevoicedavidarchuleta.com for Gladys’s story (all caps are hers… can you blame her? :) :
KARATE KICKS, DAVID WAS CRAZY
HE WORE A WHITE HAT AND AND DID SOME DANCE STEPS AND SANG CLOSE BY COELLO
SONGS THAT ARE WELL KNOWN IN ENGLISH, WHEN SHE FINDS THE NAMES TO THE SONGS SHE’LL TELL US
HE SANG ITS A A WONDERFUL WORLD!!!
HE WORE THE WHITE HAT TO SING THE AL JONSON SONG, WHEN HE FINISHED HE THREW THE HATS TO THE PUBLIC, I NEVER SEEN HIM LIKE THIS
HE ALSO SANG IMAGINE, A THOUSAND MILES, HERO IN SPANISH AND DREAM A MORNING? IN SPANISH
HE SANG AN ARGENTINIEN SONG AND I FAINTED, IT’S CALLED THANKS TO LIFE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL SONG
WHEN HE FINISHED SINGING, HE SAID THAT IN HIS COUNTRY, THE AUDIENCE ASKED FOR MORE BUT HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW SOME THINGS WERE SAID IN SPANISH
HE SMILED ALL THE TIME AND SAID THAT HE WAS HOT
E LOOKS GOOD AND HAS GROWN SOME, BIGGER BODY
HE ASKED US TO STAND AND DANCE WITH HIM WHEN HE SANG SONG BY CELIA CRUZ DANCED SALSA, HE WAS SERIOUSLY DANCING, HE SAID HE LIKED THAT THE AUDIENCE DANCED WITH HIM NOT LIKE MANY NORTH AMERICANS THAT STAY SEATED
WHEN THEY STARTED PLAYING THE NOTES OF ROCKY SONG, HE STARTED MOVING HIS ARMS TO THE BACK LIKE BOXERS, THEN TO THE FRONT, AND THEN SHADOW BOXED WITH AN IMAGINARY BOXER, IT WAS FUNNY
AND SANG AND MOVED ALOT AND TO FINISH HE KNEELED DOWN AND MOTIONED TO COELLO TO KEEP PLAYING
DAVID WAS IN ANOTHER WORLD
WHEN COELLO STOPPED PAYING,HE ASKED HIM TO KEEP PLAYING!
TEN CHAIRS AT EACH SIDE, 20 ROWS AND MORE PEEPS IN THE BACK
JUST HIM AND PIANO PLAYER POCO
despues (after the church songs)
un minuto mas (one minute more)
A thousand miles
Eye of the Tiger
[From David Archuleta Venezuela]
-David sang in English: How Firm A Foundation, I’m Trying To Be Like Jesus, Everybody Hurts, A Thousand Miles, Heaven, I’m Strong, Eye of the Tiger, Imagine, Dixie, and What a Wonderful World.
-David sang in Spanish: Hero (Hero de Mariah Carey Spanish version), dreams, One Minute More (Spanish version), Gracias A La Vida, the life is a Carnival and several hymns.